What Came After
by Eternally-Incomplete
Summary: His first reaction, of coarse was complete panic. But Sodapop, being himself, decided there was no point in panicking. It is what it is, he thought as he walked into the living room of the Curtis household. My take on the things that happen after the events of the novel. Mainly focused on Soda (cus he's awesome). I don't own anything.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is the first Outsiders fan fiction I've ever written. **

**This is basically my take on the things that happen after the events of the novel, mostly focusing on Sodapop (cus he's awesome) I have quite a few ideas for this fic so it will be multi-chaptered….if you guys want it to be of coarse, so please review and let me know if you want me to continue or not. **

**PS: I made a few references to a certain Musical…cookies for anyone who can guess which **

**enjoy :)  
**

Sodapop Curtis has always been an optimist. It isn't that he didn't see the darkness of the world, in fact he has experienced some of the darkest of places in life throughout his short 18 years. It is the way that he views his misfortunes that set him apart form the rest of the world. Sometime during those 18 years, he figured he could either sulk and be angry at the world, or he could enjoy and be consent with the little that he had. But that's another thing about Sodapop Curtis. He believes he is the happiest and luckiest guy that's ever lived. Not because he has a lot in his life, but because he values the small source of happiness that he does have.

These were the things that were going through his head as he held the "serious looking" letter in his hands outside the Cutis household. His first reaction, of coarse was complete panic. But Sodapop, being himself, decided there was no point in panicking. It is what it is, he thought as he walked into the living room of the Curtis household. Ponyboy had his nose stuck in some book that he'd gotten a few days ago. The book looked like a freakin dictionary yet he was almost done with it. Pony's patience with books always amazed and confused Soda.

Two-Bit was sitting in front of the TV with his legs stretched out on the coffee table. If mom were here, she'd give him hell, Soda thought.

Then for the first time ever, Soda was glad that his mom wasn't there. She wouldn't take the news very well. Dad would probably give him an optimistic lecture about how "things happen for a reason and it would all work out fine" …he probably wouldn't believe it himself, but he would still try to make Soda feel better. He always did. That's probably where Soda got his optimism from.

It was after 6 in the evening so Darry had already gotten home and was sitting in his usual position in the recliner reading the daily news. Soda found himself hiding a chuckle as he noticed the headline of the article saying "Hundreds of Patriotic Americans Enlist Willingly." He doesn't know why he found this funny exactly. Maybe because non of them thought that the war would ever concern them. It wasn't that big of a surprise though, now that he thought about it. Lots of "Patriotic Americans" were being drafted on a daily basis lately. Not even the socs were able to get out of it easily anymore.

Steve had just dropped him off in front of his house, which is when he noticed the mail outside. It's funny how one piece of paper can make such a big difference…He had to read it a few times to make sure he understood correctly.. maybe he was seeing things, or at least he wished he were. He was almost tempted to run after Steve's car to see if he'd see the same thing, but he realized that that was a dumb idea. He'd sat in front of the house for what seemed like an hour. The first half hour was the shock of what he had just seen and the second half was him getting himself together and doing what he usually does, looking for the bright side. In this case it was very hard to see a bright side though. He's not sure he actually found one but he suddenly remembered how hard the guys would take the news. What would Ponyboy do? God the kid was finally starting to enjoy life again after what had happened. He didn't want to admit it, but focusing on the others' reactions gave him time to avoid his own fear and panic. He had to be the bigger person and keep it together for them.

All right it's now or never, he thought…although actually it can't be never since sooner or later they'd find out but that's beside the point.

"Hey ya'll!" Soda practically shouted in an overly excited manner…even for him.

Wow this was already going to hell. He suddenly realized that since Steve wasn't here…he had to do this twice…great. This day kept getting better and better.

Darry looked up from his paper for a split second and gave a little nod getting back to his article. I hate that article, Soda thought to himself.

"Hey Soda, how was work?" Pony, of coarse put his book down to say hi. Oh god it's ganna break the poor kid's heart…

"It was alright.. Pretty borin"….except the part where I just found out I'm ganna be sent to god knows where in two weeks.

Two-Bit, after about 3 minutes decided to say hi. He was watching Mickey as always although he looked like he was focused on something very important that required his full attention . I mean how much attention did that cartoon even require. It's a freakin talking mouse with a squeaky voice…. Who the hell even comes up with this stuff?

"Earth to Soda!" Soda came out of his little trance and realized that Darry was asking if he wants any food. Was he hungry? Shoot maybe he should eat some cake while he can. He somehow doubted there'd be any cake in Vietnam.

"yeah sure" Soda finally said.

"Hey Two-bit, if you gave as much time to finding yourself a job instead of watchin cartoons, you'd actually get somewhere in life ya know" said Darry jokingly.

Two-bit was about to start wrestling with Darry when Soda realized he couldn't postpone this any longer.

"Hey guys there's something I gatta tell you"

As usual, they were too involved in their fight to hear him.

"what is it Soda?" Of coarse Pony would listen. Although he probably would rather not hear this.

"I got a letter from Uncle Sam!" This somehow shut them all up. They were all confused for a second and then Soda watched the three of their faces go pale with realization. This would actually be funny as hell if it wasn't so sad. Ponyboy looked like he would pass out any second when he saw the letter in Soda's hands. Boy this was ganna be more difficult then I thought.

Darry was the first one to react. He took the letter and started reading it with close attention, the way he had read the article.

In most serious situations like this, Two-Bit would find something to joke about and break the ice. But this time he just stood where he was, quiet. This scared Soda even more. If Two-Bit couldn't find a funny side to this, then it must be real bad.

Of coarse it's bad you dumbass, Soda thought to himself. But he couldn't let himself go further with that thought or else he'd lose it. Instead he gave Two-Bit a sad smile, which got him out of shock.

"Shit"…Two-Bit mumbled and sat down on the couch. Mickey was still playing on the TV…That dumb rat's voice never sounded more annoying then in that moment right there.

Soda shifted his attention to Ponyboy who was still frozen in the same place as he was a few minutes ago.

"Hey Pon, it's not that bad.." Soda tried to say something more but, honestly there wasn't anything much he could say.

Darry was still reading the letter. It didn't take that long to read a short letter…I mean they didn't even bother to write much. Truth is he didn't know what to say.

"Cotton Balls!" Two-Bit shouted jumping out of his seat. This kid was seriously losing it, Soda thought. Probably all the drinking.

"huh?"

" You gatta swallow cotton balls before you go for that check-up thing!"

"….why the hell would I do that?"

" Why!?" Two-Bit asked surprised as if the answer was obvious. " It'll show up on the x-ray thingy n they'll think you got some illness or something…remember Logan? The one with the big nose, he did that and they didn't draft him!" Two-Bit went on for a good few minutes about his genius plan. Good ol' Two-Bit. It was kinda entertaining listening to his rambling, especially when Soda knew he wouldn't hear it for a while…or ever again. Great, think depressing thoughts again why don't you. Al right back to the present.

"Two-Bit I ain't swallowing cotton balls"

Darry was scratching his head walking back and forth, his head still in the damn letter.

"Look guys it ain't that bad, let's not panic alright? I mean…at least it ain't Canada huh?" I said with a huge smile on my face.

Okay maybe this wasn't the best time to joke around but come one, you gatta admit that was a good one.

"We'll figure something out" Darry said suddenly. For a split second Soda actually believed him. I mean, Darry was Superman…he knew everything, he'd figure this one out, he'll get you out of it. Suddenly it dawned on Soda that Darry wasn't superman, Darry was as freaked out about the whole thing as everyone else. This scared Soda more than anything. It is what it is, Soda told himself again.

"Look this is happenin alright? I'm ganna go, the sooner ya'll accept that the better."

Everyone was quiet.

"Come on it ain't that bad really.." Soda tried the smile again but this time couldn't think of a joke. They sat in silence for what seemed like 500 freakin years to Soda.

"…at least there's good pay?…"

This time Darry gave him a small smile. Okay that was good, Darry was gettin it together, that was a good start. He'd deal with the rest later, Soda thought.

"I'm comin too" Two-Bit declared. Soda couldn't help but laugh at his "serious" tone.

"ya alright"

"I'm serious, I'm comin"

"No you ain't Two-Bit, you got a little sister and a mom to look after at home, d'you think about that?" Two-Bit tried to argue but it was obvious he couldn't do it. Soda believed him when he said he'd enlist. Two-Bit might be a goof-ball, but he was one heck of a friend not to mention one tuff greaser. But he also loved his family and wouldn't abandon them if he could help it.

"You're ganna look like a freakin clown in those cloths" Two-Bit mumbled after a long pause. Soda laughed wrestled with him for a good few minutes but neither of their hearts was in it. Still it felt good to not be so sulky, at least on the outside. It was getting pretty late, so Two-Bit decided to leave. They'd made a few jokes and talked about cars for an hour or so like they would do, just him and Soda. Then Two-Bit stood up to leave but paused at the door.

"Out of all the people… they choose you…" he said bitterly, adding a few lovely words at the end. God know who he was cursing at. Soda didn't know exactly what he had meant by that. Soda was qualified in every way to be drafted. He had turned 18 a month ago, he wasn't in college, nor was he the older male of the house. He was perfectly qualified to go so why not him and someone else?

Soda was thinking these when he noticed that Ponyboy was no longer in the room.

"Hey Dar where'd Pony go?"

"Probably in his room" Darry said trying to sound as calm as he could. He was doing a poor job of it though. Soda wished Darry were stronger about this. He needed him of all people right now. As he was about to go to his room to talk to Pony, Darry said

"It's ganna be alright Pepsi-Cola, we'll get through this like we do everythin else"

Soda gave him a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Smiling was becoming more difficult by the second.

Ponyboy was sitting looking out the window when Soda entered the room.

"Hey Pon?" Pony didn't' respond. Soda went a little closer and said

"You've been real quiet…tough few hours huh Ponyboy…" Soda said with a smile.

Ponyboy could practically hear the smile in Soda's voice. He wondered how he was still able to still smile after all this.

"yeah' Pony mumbled.

" Ponny come on talk to me"

Ponny turned around slowly. "I don't want you to leave Soda…things were finally going good ya know…" He said his voice shaking.

"Yeah I know kid" Soda said pulling him into a hug. Pony looked so much younger in that moment. He looked scared and lost. In situations like this, Soda was always the one to change that look on his face. The kind of look that he had after they told them the news of their parents' death. The look he had when he'd wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. Or the look he had for months after Johnny and Dally died. That look that quietly pleads for help from his big brother. But this time he was the cause for that look…and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

They didn't speak much after that as Pony started crying quietly. I mean, what was Soda supposed to say. Truth was he wanted to cry too. He wanted to bawl and scream and break stuff. But that wasn't Soda. The happy-go-lucky Soda.

If it were Steve, he would probably break a few stuff and cuss the world out and get it over with. But not Soda. That was the problem with being the optimistic one. People weren't used to seeing you break down or be sad. You're the source of happiness, the light in the dark sort of thing. This is why Soda didn't cry. He kept it inside, just like he did when his parents died. He buried it inside and comforted the rest because that was his job. Funny that he assigned that job to himself…maybe it wasn't a very good way of living after all.

After shifting in his bed for a while, Pony finally went to sleep. Soda decided he should try to go to sleep too, he had work in the morning.

Shit. Soda thought to himself. Now he had to tell Steve. Great.

Looks like a few pieces of furniture were ganna break after all…


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this one's a little short, but I will most probably update very soon.  
**

**Enjoy and please review! :)**

It was a slow day at the DX. It's even slower when you're a nervous wreck. The closer it came to closing time, the more tense Soda got. He was going to tell Steve, and Steve isn't exactly knows for taking bad news very well, to say the least.

Actually Soda had planned to tell him in the morning, but as soon as they had gotten in the car, he changed his mind. If he had told Steve about it in the morning, he would probably be so pissed off that he wouldn't be able to work, not to mention a customer or two would suffer along the way.

It was a Saturday so they were both there full time. This made it even harder to act normal. Soda felt like he was sitting on pins the entire time. Although on the other hand, he was a bit happy about being there with Steve. In less than two weeks, he wouldn't be able to see his buddy for a long time….or maybe ever again. Dammit you're doing it again, Soda thought and groaned out loud.

"What's the matter with you? You're actin funny" Steve said. He had noticed that Soda was strangely quiet, which is unusual for his normally hyper and talkative friend.

"huh oh nothin just bored" After a few more failed attempts, Steve gave up on asking.

Soda felt his stomach churn as they got out of the gas station. All right just do it already!

It didn't' help that Steve happened to be in a jolly good mood that day. Steve wasn't even usually this talkative, what the hell got into him? God if these weren't the most unlucky 24 hours in Soda's life…

They were almost near the car and Steve was enthusiastically telling Soda about taking him on a blind date. Or a double date, to be exact. Perfect timing Steve. Perfect timing.

"I'm telling you buddy, she's great" Steve went on, "and she's pretty too, ya know so you don't gatta worry about that." Steve had just gotten back together with Evie after their annual monthly break-up. Soda wondered if Steve really loved her. He figured he probably does or else they would break up for good. Anyway, Steve wanted to introduce Soda to Evie's "very sweet and nice" girlfriend. Evie had also said that about Sandy. Soda suddenly wondered how Sandy was doing. He hadn't thought about her in a very long time but now he strangely missed her. He wondered if he'd ever see her again. Did she ever think about him? Did she ever miss him?

She's probably married to someone else by now and is living a happy apple pie life without a single thought about you. And you, buddy, are bein shipped off to some jungle to fight a good for nothin war, Soda thought bitterly. But he wasn't truly bitter, not with Sandy of all people. He suddenly wished she really did have all of that and was happy.

But would he ever see her again…probably not, he wished he would for some reason though, at least once.

"you even listenin to me?!" Steve broke in.

"Yea sorry"

"So yeah I'm thinking we can go to the movies and then you know grab something to eat-"

"yeah I don't think that's too hot of an idea, Stevie" Soda said impatiently.

"I ain't takin no for an answer man, you've been single for too long.."

"Look there's somethin I gotta tell you-"

"look I know that last chick wasn't all that great but this one's different I've actually met her this time, she seems real cool and-"

"I'm being drafted!" well that wasn't exactly how Soda had hoped to break the news but lately he didn't have his usual patience.

The expression on Steve's face was indescribable.

"what?! Drafted where?"

"to Canada, Steve," he said sarcastically, "Vietnam, where else?"

The words that came out of Steve's mouth in that moment would be censored in a freakin porno flick. Once again it would actually be hilarious were it a different situation.

"that doesn't even fuckin make sense you ain't even qualified. You're supposed to be 18 to go!"

"I am 18 Steve, remember a month ago at my house? Told you you shouldn't have drank that much, you're havin memory problems, buddy." Steve looked like he was about to punch him in the face, which was when Soda decided that making jokes was definitely inappropriate at all times during these next 2 weeks.

"Look I….I don't know, it's happening so…thought I should let you know" ...thought I should let you know? what are you in kindergarten? Soda thought annoyed at himself for sounding so childish.

Suddenly Steve became completely calm and lighted a cigarette. Soda wanted one too. It was the first time that Soda had actually craved a weed. Smoking was usually something he did when he was bored, not when he needed to.

"When do you leave?"

"In two weeks….well, I mean, they have to do all those tests n' crap to see if I'm healthy or not, and if I pass I go in two weeks." Saying it out loud made it so much more real and Soda hated it.

"all right, let's go home" and with that Steve started walking towards the car.

Well that was the last thing Soda had expected. It wasn't like Steve to take things so lightly. They headed to the car in silence. Neither Steve or Soda said anything on the way home. Soda wondered what was going through Steve's head. He hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid. It was never a good sign when Steve was like this. It usually ended with an outburst of some sort that Soda would end up dealing with. Soda was absentmindedly playing with the buttons on his shirt when he realized that they were parked in front of his house. He said good night to Steve and got out of the car. He hesitated for a second looking at Steve, hoping he would say something or give any type of reaction but Steve just avoided his gaze and drove off.

Soda never liked being comforted. When his parents had died, he did his best to avoid any and all sorts of pity talks and condolences. Steve, knowing his best friend well enough, didn't give him the "time will heal- God works in mysterious ways-they're in a better place-butterflies and rainbows yadayada bullshit" speech. In fact he had barely said anything. There wasn't any need to say anything. He just stayed with Soda and they sat in silence. At times for hours if they needed to. Soda, as always, was the support for everyone else during that time, even for Darry. But Steve was Soda's support. He understood Soda like no one else did. He knew that Soda would never let anyone take care of him, it just wasn't in his nature. But Steve had managed to be there for him in ways that no one else would. In fact, Soda couldn't remember a time throughout those few dreadful months when Steve wasn't by his side. There is no need for words when you have a friendship like theirs.

Yet this silence was not the same. Soda couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Was there really nothing that Steve could have said? I mean, a damn pat on the shoulder would have been nice too?

You're being childish, Soda thought to himself again. He'd been doing that a lot recently.

He suddenly notices that he's shivering and realized that he'd been standing outside for over five minutes. He decided that he was too tired to think for now and slowly walked into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**AinsleyWright: Thanks for reviewing! I'm going to have a lot of free time over the **  
** next few weeks, so I'll update often. **:)

**Everything belongs to S. E. Hinton.**  
**Enjoy and review** :)

Chapter 3

The next day Soda woke up to find that Ponyboy was not in bed. It was Sunday, so they were all home. Normally this would be a good thing, but ever since finding out about his draft, things had been super awkward between all of them.

Darry was doing his usual tough older brother act, and Pony was being overly quiet and attentive, but at least he wasn't crying anymore. When Soda went into the living room, he could smell eggs and bacon. God would Soda miss bacon…did they have bacon over there?

They sat in quiet, mostly talking only when it was absolutely necessary. Soda was trying as hard as he could to act normal and so were Darry and Ponyboy.

"Mornin Curtis bros!" That was Two-Bit, of coarse. Soda was glad to see him. If anyone could break the ice it was Two-bit.

"Oh good there's food!"

"Oh please Two-bit, feel free to eat our food." Soda said sarcastically, but Two-bit was already taking his second bite.

"Ponyboy you done your homework?"

"Yeah, I just got a little reading to do, I'll do it later."

It was obvious that Darry wanted to argue but he kept his mouth shut for Soda's sake.

It was about 2 in the afternoon when Steve showed up. He greeted everyone like he normally would and sat next to Soda.

Soda tried his best to avoid his gaze. He was trying to act like he wasn't angry at him but it wasn't working too well so far.

Soda was to go to the check-ups tomorrow in the afternoon, except there was no one to take him. Darry had work, Steve had school, and Two-bit had to help his mom at her workplace.

"I'll take some time off work." Darry said.

"No, we can't afford that, especially since I'm not ganna be workin for a while." Soda argued.

"As much as it wounds me to do so, I think I'll take some time off of helping out tomorrow."

"Yeah smart guy, what about your sister. Who's ganna pick her up after school?" Darry pointed out. Two-bit was about to argue but Soda had had enough.

"Hey hey not that I don't appreciate you all fightin over me, but I think I can manage on my own, I don't need a babysitter. I'll just take the bus or somethin" Honestly, Soda didn't really wanna go alone, but it would be much better than sitting awkwardly in one of their cars for an hour.

"Nah I don't want you goin alone Soda, I autta come with you-" Darry was about to continue when Steve broke in.

"Don't worry Darry, he ain't ganna go alone." Steve had been so quiet the entire time, that they had almost forgotten he was there. Well, everyone except Soda.

"You have school Steve, plus you're ganna start finals soon, you should go. I told you guys I don't need a babysitter. I'll take the bus."

"Hey you can take the bus if you want to but I still have to go."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I enlisted." Steve said, lighting a cigarette. The room went completely quiet while Soda was debating on which piece of furniture to throw at Steve's head first.

"You did what?!" Soda practically shouted.

"Oh come on, you didn't think I was ganna let you go alone and miss all the fun did ya?" At this point Soda decided that the best choice would be to start with the refrigerator, with it being the heaviest one.

"You're kiddin me right?" Soda said. He hoped that Steve had acquired a sense of humor over the past few hours, because Steve never joked.

"No I ain't kidding you" Steve said and took out a piece of paper. At this point Soda was on his feet, with a shocked expression on his face. He grabbed the piece of paper from Steve's hands and started reading it.

Son of a bitch, he wasn't lying.

"I can't believe you would do this, have you completely lost your damn mind? This ain't ganna be some rumble Steve!"

Soda hadn't felt this angry in a long time. Did Steve actually think he'd be happy about this. The only good thing about Soda going to war was knowing that his friends and family were safe at home. And now he didn't have that either.

"Yeah, I know it ain't buddy." Steve said in a calm voice with a small smile.

"You guys ganna say somethin?!" Why were they all being so quiet? this was insane. But no one said anything.

They weren't happy that Steve was ganna go to war, but it was obvious they couldn't help be relieved that Soda wouldn't' be going alone.

After getting no answer, Soda headed for the door. He needed some fresh air, or else he really would start throwin punches.

"Soda come on, I-" Steve started saying but Soda was already out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**All characters belong to S E Hinton. **

As soon as Soda had gone out the door, he started running. This was slowly becoming a tradition in their family, Soda thought laughing on the inside. He stopped near the fences where Pony had tackled him down the last time he had ran out the door.

How did things change so fast?

It was hard to believe that only 2 years ago they were living a normal life with loving parents at their sides. Darry was ganna go to college, Soda was a regular high school student, Ponyboy was innocent and happy, and their gang consisted of seven people.

Maybe their side of town just wasn't meant for normal families. Something had to be unstable. Something had to go wrong.

Change was spreading throughout the entire country though, now that Soda thought about it. Socs weren't bothering them much anymore. Social classes were slowly deteriorating, but there were bigger problems now. Problems that affected all social classes. That was probably why they were mostly at peace with each other now. Nothing brought people together more than global chaos and war. How ironic.

Why was this war going on anyway? What was the point? What were they fighting for? You'll find out when you get there, Soda thought.

The truth was he knew that even then he wouldn't be able to justify a war. To him, life was simple, it was fun and if everyone saw it the way he did, there wouldn't be any need for war or conflict. Sure he liked fights, but only for the excitement of it. He didn't really feel any hate towards the people he fought. He didn't like them, but he didn't hate them either.

Soda was so deep in thought that he had barely noticed Steve approaching. He hesitated for a minute but then sat down next to Soda.

"How'd you find me?"

"Lucky guess…there ain't exactly a lot of places you could go anyway"

Soda was quiet.

"Look I don't get why you're so ticked off about this." Steve said stubbornly.

"I'm ticked off cus you're an idiot."

"Gee thanks."

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Come on it ain't that bad, least we'll have a chance to get out of this town for a while." By the look on Soda's face, he was not amused.

"Look what'd you expect me to do huh?…if you didn't have Pony and Darry, you'd do the same!"

Soda couldn't help but see the truth in that. If Steve was the one drafted, the only thing that would stop Soda from enlisting would be Pony and Darry. Their family had lost enough, he wouldn't' be able to do that to them. Otherwise he wouldn't think twice about enlisting.

"Yeah well you've got your dad."

Steve gave a sad chuckle. "How'd you manage to say that with a straight face huh Soda?"

"You can act like you don't care about him all you want but I know you do, and he cares about you too, in his own way ya know."

"He'll survive" Steve said bitterly.

"They're as much your family as they're mine you know and Two-bit too." Soda said after a long pause.

"Yeah I know…but so are you." Soda understood.

Truth was Soda was the closest thing Steve had to a family. Steve didn't even take time to think about it. As soon as Soda told him he'd been drafted, he knew he'd be going to. It was a done deal and he was okay with it.

"Hey you'd get bored without me anyway" Steve said shoving him on the side.

Soda couldn't help but give a small smile.

"Now come on let's go home, I'm freezin my ass of here." Steve said.

They'd started walking home when Steve said with a laugh,

"You're such a drama queen"

Soda punched him in the arm and by the time they got home, they were full on wrestling.


	5. Chapter 5

**All characters belong to S E Hinton.**

**Enjoy and make sure to review!**

**Sienna: Thanks so much!**

"Well ain't this just real dandy?" Two-bit said bitterly, "both of you goin…you know what screw it, I'm comin too, I ain't gonna sit here and wait around while you two are-"

"Oh would you look at that! you know I hadn't realized we had so many patriotic Americans ready to serve their country among our gang." Soda said sarcastically. "Hey Darry you gonna volunteer too? And Ponny? In fact why don't we get the entire freakin neighborhood to come along, it'll be a nice little vacation!"

It was almost around midnight and Soda felt more frustrated than ever. He was starting to regret telling them about his draft. If he had kept his mouth shut until the last few days, Steve wouldn't have had time to enlist. Ponyboy was trying his best to hide his sadness, but he was failing miserably. Darry was a little better at hiding it, but not good enough that Soda wouldn't notice.

As Soda lay in bed that night, he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. He hated admitting it even to himself, but the idea of his best friend being at his side in that war zone was more than he could ever ask for in a situation like this. Maybe he didn't have to face this alone after all, he though smiling to himself and, for the first time since getting that letter, he slept soundly.

The building itself already looked intimidating. Soda couldn't help but feel tensed up as Steve and him went up the long stairs leading to the entrance. The first things that Soda noticed once they were inside were the huge posters of Uncle Sam with the words "I WANT YOU" written underneath them. Real subtle.

"Geez I've never felt this wanted before." Steve said faking a few tears.

There were many men in military uniforms there, some leading young boys, like themselves, into different rooms. Boys of all sorts. Black, white, rich, poor…all that didn't seem to matter here, Soda noticed.

There were two posters on top, each pointing to the opposite direction.

A-J to the left, and K-Z to the right. Curtis and Randle weren't in the same group, so they had to separate. After deciding to meet in the same place after they were done, they went their separate ways.

The testing process was a long one. Long and extremely annoying. Violating even, Soda thought. After about an hour of long lines, health checks, and questions, Soda was reassured that he was 100% healthy and ready to "serve his country." Oh joy.

Soda slowly made his way back to the signs, where he waited for Steve.

He didn't have to wait for long before he saw a very angry looking Steve walking towards him. Soda noticed two men in military following him…urging him to walk would be a better description.

"All right I got it, Jesus Christ!" Steve said to them, annoyed. The guys looked like they were about to punch him in the face, but they just turned around and left.

"What's wrong?" Soda asked but Steve was already going down the stairs.

Soda was 99% sure that he would die from a car crash before he even got a chance to get shot in Vietnam, with the way Steve was driving.

"Would you tell me what the hell is goin on?" Soda asked impatiently for the gazzilianth time.

"They're not letting me go." Steve hissed in a very dangerous sounding tone. This was the tone Steve usually had before he was about to blow up on someone. "Doc said I got something called Burtitis…Bursitis….somthin to do with the joints n muscles….I don't even fucking know!"

Well this was something that Soda had never considered would happen.

"wait wait is that serious?"

"he said it would be if I went. The hell does that even mean, they should be damn glad I'm volunteerin. Since when do they even fuckin reject someone from voluntarily goin to war huh?" Steve spent the next five minutes or so cursing everyone and everything that had to do with the military. It was sort of hilarious.

Apparently he had gotten real mad at the doctor when he had told him he wasn't qualified to go. He had tried to explain to Steve that it would be dangerous for him to go and that they were doing him a favor but Steve had gotten so close to attacking the poor bastard that they had had to actually force him out. This explained the military guys who looked like they were about to beat the shit out of him. Soda was surprised they hadn't arrested him.

After trying his best at keeping a straight face for about 10 minutes, Soda burst out laughing. It wasn't that he was happy about going alone, hell he was terrified more than he had ever been, but the whole situation was so ridiculous that he couldn't but laugh.

"You think this is funny?!"

"Sorry sorry I'm not laughing I swear, it's just…..your patriotism was rejected, buddy."

If Steve wasn't driving, Soda was pretty sure his fist would be meeting his face at that point.

Wow you're a real commedian you know that?...If you think I'm just ganna leave it like this then you're wrong….spend most of my life trying to stay as far away from these people as best I could, now I'm voluntarily going and they don't want it!"

"Look if they said you can't go then you can't go, alright. You said doc said it'd worsen the condition if you go."

"I've fought in rumbles plenty of times, never had any problems."

"Steve I told you, this ain't no rumble."

They sat in silence for most of the ride home with the exception of Steve's occasional outbursts. Soda had never seen Steve this angry and helpless before. He seemed like he was close to tears. He didn't feel much different either, if not worse. He didn't feel like laughing anymore. He couldn't help but feel angry at Steve for enlisting in the first place. He knew it was stupid to think that way. Steve had only meant well. But he hated having to go through this again. For a short time there, Soda believed that maybe things wouldn't be that bad and that maybe he wasn't all alone in this. But at that moment, Soda felt more lonely than he had ever felt in his life.

**PS: sorry if the whole Bursitis thing is a little lame, but that's the only thing I could think of so bear with me**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own The Outsiders.**

The following days were a haze. It was slowly dawning on Soda that this was actually happening. He'd never been one to be scared of a fight. But this was no rumble. The words that he had repeatedly told Steve were starting to sink in now. Aside from the

terrifying idea that he might actually not come back alive from this, there was one thing that terrified him the most. He had to actually kill people. Point a gun at someone, and shoot.

Never once in his past had he ever considered this, not even during rumbles.

At least in a rumble, Soda knew what he was fighting for, he had a purpose. He failed to see the purpose now. He'd seen guys, who had been drafted like him, come back bitter and broken. He didn't want to turn into that, it wasn't fair. But he avoided thinking about this at all. It is what it is and he had to accept that.

He especially hated putting his family through this though, so he tried his best to act like he was okay. He smiled and made jokes like he usually would and never complained. Not once.

Darry was a tough guy, he had always been a tough guy, but never once in his life had he felt as helpless as he did now, not even when Pony ran away. At least then he knew that he could go looking for him, until his last days if that's what it took. But what was he supposed to do now? He couldn't go with Soda. There was nothing he could do besides watch his brother leave. It was eating him alive, and Soda could see that clearly. Neither said anything though, there was no point. Instead, Darry spent hours on end talking to Soda and comforting him as best he could, even though Soda hadn't asked for it. He would talk about a lot of practical stuff about fighting. They both knew that that wouldn't help in a battlefield but it brought him comfort to give advise and so Soda took it and listened. If Darry had a choice, he would go in Soda's place without thinking twice about it. Soda knew this too.

Darry was the older brother. Soda imagined how terrible it would feel if Pony was drafted. Soda was Darry's kid brother, like Pony was his. So Soda understood and tried his best to make it as easy for Darry as he could.

Pony, on the other hand, surprised Soda more than anyone. It was obvious he was scared as hell, but he did his best to not show it. What surprised Soda the most is how much he was supporting Darry. He did his homework on time, he did his chores on time (more than he needed to at times) and he didn't argue with Darry once. If Darry wanted something, he did it and kept his mouth shut. He also tried his best not to leave Soda's side. He practically spent his entire day with him. He cheered him up told him about his day and what he did at school and how things would work out just fine. Although he avoided the topic of Soda leaving as much as possible and Soda didn't bring it up either. Pony was a sensitive kid, but he was also tough. Soda knew it was all an act, but he still appreciated it.

Two-bit joked around as usual. Although sometimes Soda would catch him looking at him with thoughtful eyes. But most of the time he would just act like himself. He spent most of his time at the Curtis's …well more than he usually did. Steve on the other hand wasn't taking things so well. He was angry that he wouldn't be able to go with Soda. Numerous times he would apologize to Soda that he had to go alone as if it was his fault. Soda would try to explain to him that he had nothing to apologize for, but he just wouldn't have it. He was quiet mostly now. Distant. Soda hated this.

The gang was gathered at the Curtis's again. They were playing cards when Soda suddenly realized something.

"Shit!" Soda said throwing his cards on the table. Four pairs of sympathetic eyes turned to him suddenly. "I have to get a buzz cut!" Soda had somehow missed to realize this before. He had to cut his hair, this was a fucking tragedy. How the hell was he gonna put grease. The guys just stared at him in disbelief.

"You're a wonder you know that Soda?" Two-bit said with amazement.

Soda decided that he wasn't going to wait to get a haircut along with his fellow draftees. Might as well get it over with before.

As soon as Soda sat in the chair he felt his heart sink. It's just hair ye moron, he kept telling himself. He had deliberately left this until the very last day so that he could enjoy having long hair for as long as possible. He had spent more time then usual in the morning putting grease in his hair, enjoying it while he could.

Darry looked more threatening than ever with that shaver in his hand now. The guys were all gathered around to watch the spectacle. Getting a haircut was always an emotional ordeal for a greaser. Pony remembered when Johnny had given him a haircut, and it did not feel good.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here on this sad day-"

"Two-bit shut it, will you!" Pony said annoyed.

"Ready?" asked Darry.

"Just get it over with." Soda said bitterly. He squinted his eyes the entire time as if a part of his body was being cut off. Close enough.

After it was done, he held the mirror in his hands, collecting his strength, then slowly opened his eyes.

"Shit…I look like a fucking idiot"

"Nah, it ain't that bad really." Steve said reassuringly.

"Yeah Soda. Don't worry, you don't look half as hideous as we all thought you would," said Two-bit after which he was obviously met with a pillow from Darry. Soda didn't actually look bad of coarse. Soda could get a feakin afro and still look good.

"It sorta matches you actually." Pony said honestly.

They spent the rest of the day like they normally would. Playing cards, goofing off telling jokes. It wasn't like every other day of coarse. There was tension in the room but no one mentioned it. It was late in the night when Two-bit and Steve left. They decided to meet at the train station early in the morning.

"How you doin little buddy?" Soda was in the kitchen alone cleaning up a bit when Darry came in.

"I'm alright"

Then Darry hugged him abruptly. They stayed like that for a while not saying a thing.

"I'm sorry this is happening, I'd do anything to go in your place." Darry said, his voice shaking.

"I know….It ain't your fault Dar" Soda had to make sure Darry knew this. "It's gonna be alright you know, we'll deal with this like we do everythin else, right?" Soda said with a sad smile.

"Yeah, yeah we are little buddy." Darry said wiping away his tears. Then they cleaned up the rest of the plates and headed to bed.

They lay in bed in silence for about an hour. Pony had his back on Soda, but he knew that he wasn't sleeping.

"Cold Pon?"

"A little" Pony said after a few seconds.

Soda turned around and put his arm around Pony. God would he miss the little guy. He knew that Pony was hurting and he wished more than anything he could make it better. What would happen to him and Darry after he left. Would they start fighting again? They were barely getting along as it was. Soda felt panic rising in his chest but he hid it.

"Hey Pon…you remember what I told you when mom and dad died?" Soda asked in a whisper.

"Yeah."

"What?"

"that I should stay strong for them" Pony said with a whimper.

"I need you to do that now too Pon, I need you to be strong…for me." Soda hadn't cried once throughout these few weeks, but he could no longer control the tears welling up in his eyes. "I need you to be strong so that I can be strong too." He said, his voice shaking despite his efforts to control it. Pony was quiet for a while but then he abruptly turned around and said,

"Okay… I promise I will." He was no longer crying. "It's gonna be okay you know, everything's gonna be just fine, I know it." He said with a determined expression.

Soda smiled at him. It was in moments like these where Soda was reminded that Pony was not a kid anymore.

"You better write me letters though." Soda said putting his arm around Pony again.

"You kidding, I'm gonna write you novels."

"Those I won't mind reading." Soda said with a laugh.

They talked for a little longer and then slowly went to sleep.

**Alright guys, hope you enjoyed. Review and let me know what you think of it so far.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own the Outsiders.**

**Enjoy and REVIEW**

"_**If you're brave to say 'goodbye,' life will reward you with a 'hello.' "**_

**Paulo Coelho **

Getting up in the morning was difficult for Soda. Not in the sense that he needed more sleep. It's sort of like the first time that he had a date with Sandy. He was so excited the night before that he had a knot in his stomach that was keeping him from going to sleep. It went away when you slept, only to come rushing back as soon as he opened his eyes again. Except this time he didn't have a date with Sandy, and it wasn't a feeling of excitement that came rushing back that morning. It was utter fear. He felt tricked.

It's a cruel thing really, sleep.

Wearing the uniform for the first time was interesting though. Soda thought it looked kinda tuff. Especially the boots. Although he could tell Darry and Ponyboy were cringing deep down. They hated seeing him in those clothes. Most guys they'd seen in those uniforms didn't end up looking so good.

Soda's breakfast choice was, of coarse, a chocolate cake. His last meal….Last supper, Soda thought laughing to himself. He suddenly wondered what kind of food he would eat for the next 10 months. Not this delicious cake, that's for sure.

The ride to the train station was quiet…and long. When they finally got there, Two-bit was already standing in the midst of all the green. Did they really need this many soldiers?

Two-bit whistled mockingly as soon as he saw Soda.

"Well you sure look like a law abiding soc." he said cracking up.

"Yea don't rub it in Two-bit" Soda said bitterly. "Where's Steve?"

"He'll be here." Two-bit said looking around somewhat unsure.

Would he be here? After 20 minutes Soda was starting to doubt he would. Steve wasn't a touchy kind of guy. He was rough and didn't like expressing his emotions. Although he didn't really need to express them in front of Soda because Soda knew him like the back of his hand. He understood why Steve wouldn't come, but he really wanted to see him now. Would he really not bother to come to see Soda off? What if it was the last time that they got to see each other?

Soda was starting to lose hope when he saw Steve hurrying towards them. The crowd was even bigger now.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't show up."

"I'm sorry I'm late." Steve said apologetically, to which Soda gave him a huge grin.

"You're nutts, you know that?" Steve said unable to hide a smile. You just can't keep a straight face when Sodapop Curtis smiles at you.

And then the train showed up. There was so much noise that it was almost impossible to hear each other.

"Well, that's my cue."

None of them seemed to be willing to say goodbye first until Two-bit cut in.

"Same place, same time in 10 months, you got that?"

"It's a date." Soda said, grinning. They hugged then Two-bit looked at him thoughtfully for a sec and said,

"Now don't you go try to be a hero alright kid?" He had tears in his eyes. It was strange seeing Two-bit all serious. It didn't happen very often and it wasn't the sight that Soda wanted to leave with.

Next was Steve, who looked more awkward and uncomfortable then Soda had ever seen him. It was a little funny actually, but Soda was too nervous to laugh. Soda gave him a long smile, which he couldn't help but return. He felt like crying too but he had promised himself that he wouldn't and he was going to keep to that. Steve was doing the same, as it seemed. Steve hugged him then, unable to say anything.

"Don't be a stranger okay?" Soda said hitting him on the arm playfully.

"I won't."

It was Darry's turn next. "You be careful out there alright? You run when you need to, you got that?"

"Yes sir!" Then Darry hugged him…or choked him to be more exact. He had tears in his eyes and he looked like he was about to cry.

"Hey Dar, no tears remember?" That was something that Darry had told him when their parents had died. Tears would only bring more tears, he had said. Soda had kept that in mind ever since and it helped him cope.

"No tears." Darry said with a sad smile.

Next was Ponyboy. There wasn't anything to say really. They just hugged, and Soda noticed a few tears fall down pony's face, which he quickly dried away. It broke Soda's heart but he had to stay strong. Then he looked at all of them one last time and turned around. Truth was if he stayed any longer he would start bawling.

When Soda was about to walk away Pony called.

"Hey Soda….see you in 10 months."

Soda smiled, winking at him, and left, mixing with the crowd of green.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own The Outsiders.**

"Hey can I at least have a damn cigarette?!"

As Ponyboy Curtis sat in the jail sale, he wondered how in hell Dallas had managed to survive being arrested so many times. Were they even allowed to take away someone's cigarettes? I mean, that was just downright cruel. Although the fuzz weren't exactly known to treat greasers like him very nicely…to say the least.

"Here kid, you can take one of mine, just shut up will ya" There were two other guy in the cell with him, who were obviously annoyed at the amount of noise that Ponyboy was causing. The one who offered a cigarette was a black guy, probably in his 30's, who seemed to be taking things very calmly and the other one, who wasn't taking things as calmly looked like a soc. Ponyboy guessed he wasn't used to being treated like dirt by the police like they were. He had probably been arrested along with Ponyboy though. There were all kinds in the crowd.

"Thanks."

Smoking did seem to calm his nerves down a bit. Although he could still imagine the lecture he would soon be hearing from Darry. He wondered where they were keeping the other people. He was sure he'd seen more than a dozen others being arrested. They probably didn't want to keep them all together, Pony guessed. Things had gotten out of hand so fast that he hadn't even noticed the fuzz showing up.

"What're you in for kid?" The guy, whose name was apparently Andy asked.

"Protesting."

"Well that's always a noble cause." Andy said with a huge grin. He seemed too cheerful for someone who was sitting in a jail cell. He studied Ponyboy carefully for a few mintues and said, "got someone in 'Nam huh?"

"Yeah, my brother." Pony said taking a drag. He hadn't exactly planned on things getting so out of hand. It was supposed to be a peaceful rally. But some people apparently got too "aggressive" which is ironic for a pro peace meeting. Before they knew it, people were being beaten down and arrested. The cops were probably just looking for a reason to stop the protest anyway, and they got it because of a few idiots.

"What're you in for?" Pony asked curiously.

"Oh, you know, happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Was the only black guy there, ergo they arrested me."

Ponyboy was quiet for a second. It was hard enough being a greaser, he could imagine how hard it must be for him. "That sucks."

"Don't sweat it kid, you gotta take life easily, 'else you'll have a pretty hard time"

"That sounds like something my brother would say." Pony said smiling.

"Well your brother seems like a smart kid."

He suddenly wondered what Soda was doing now…although he thought about that almost all the time, even if it was subconsciously. He tried to avoid it though because the worse things would come to mind. Was he scared? Was he hurt? Was he taken hostage? Was he even alive? That last one always brought him back to reality because it was something he could never accept.

"Yeah, he is."

"How old is he?"

"Eighteen"

This seemed to upset Andy. He became serious and said, "war ain't no place for kids.."

He went on for a few minutes talking about how the country had gone nuts over the past few years and how things needed to change. Ponyboy couldn't agree more.

"When did he get drafted?" the soc that had been quiet this whole time spoke up.

"7 months ago." Pony said.

"Mine's been gone 10 months."

Pony nodded understandingly. It was strange to Pony that a soc was in the same situation as he was. His brother had been drafted, just like Soda.

They talked for what seemed like an hour, all three of them. They talked about everything. They talked about the war, they talked about their families and where they were from, they even talked about the hippies.

Andy was a musician. He played guitar, piano, the saxophone, and a little bit of violin. Pony had never met anyone before who could play that many instruments. Him and his band played in bars and pretty much anywhere where they could find an audience. He even sang from time to time, if the vocalist in his band wasn't available. Pony found this really cool. He wondered what it was like to have that kind of freedom. Maybe when Soda came back, they could go to one of their gigs, he thought hopefully. Soda loved music.

The soc, whose name was Max was a major athlete. He was an A student, and had a full on scholarship waiting for him. His parents were bankers and expected Max to become a lawyer. They lived in a mansion on the south side. Basically, Max had the full soc package that Pony had encountered before. But Max didn't want to be a lawyer. He didn't know what he wanted yet but it was definitely not law.

"Then why don't you go for something else?" Pony asked.

"Yea, try explaining that to my dad."

Pony had never considered that people like Max would have problems with their parents. Their families seemed so perfect and stable. Yet the family that Max described now seemed terrible and robotic. Guess being a soc wasn't all that great either. He was becoming more and more sure of that over the past few years.

It's funny, just a few years ago, Pony would have never imagined that he would even end up having a peaceful conversation with people who were so different from him. And now here he was. Was this what Johnny had longed for? Maybe not. There's no place for small gang fights when there's so many bigger things taking place. Pony didn't know whether this was good or bad. He liked that there wasn't as much drama between the socs and the greasers, but things were so complicated now that he longed for the simpler times.

"Hey kid, come on you're free to go." The cop, who Pony bitterly remembered as the one who took his cigarettes, opened the cell. He said goodbye to Max and Andy and wished them luck.

The look on Darry's face was enough to shatter the somewhat good mood that Pony had come to experience after meeting the guys. At least Two-bit was with him, that was good.

"Nice to see you makin friends in their kiddo." Two-bit said. Darry didn't say anything. He took care of the paperwork and they quickly got out.

"Have you got any idea how much trouble you could have been in? If you keep gettin in trouble like this, they'll put you in a boy's home don't you get that?"

Darry had kept quiet throughout the ride home, but as soon as they got into the house he blew.

"Darry I didn't realize the fuzz would be there, if I knew I wouldn't have gone okay?" Pony said, trying his best to stay calm.

"You shouldn't have gone period, Ponyboy! Just what the hell do you think was gonna happen there huh?"

"Look I know you want me to apologize for goin but I'm not sorry, alright! They're the ones who should be sorry, not me and you know it!" Pony snapped back.

"What and you think going to these damn parades is gonna suddenly change their minds huh? That they're just gonna bring all the troops back because you ask nicely? I've been patient for a while now Pony, but it's getting out hand and you gotta stop, I don't want you getting involved in these things anymore."

"Well I gotta do something alright!" Pony shouted back. He hadn't yelled at Darry once ever since Soda had left, but he couldn't control himself anymore. He felt like crying and screaming and breaking stuff, but he knew that that wouldn't help either. He felt trapped, he was suffocating. Deep down, Ponyboy knew that these rallies wouldn't solve much. There were people involved who didn't want to solve things in a peaceful way, like they said they did. But he still had to do something. He couldn't sit around all day or else he would go crazy.

"Well maybe you can do something that won't end up sending you to a boy's home, huh Ponyboy." Pony heard Steve say from behind him. He must have walked in without them noticing.

"Yeah, well maybe I should use your methods huh!" Pony snapped back. Steve looked at him for a second somewhat hurt and angry at the same time. Pony hadn't meant to say that but he was too frustrated to think straight. He looked at Steve for a second apologetically and then went to his room, shutting the door behind him. He immediately felt bad for snapping at all of them like that. Darry only wanted to keep him safe and Two-bit too. And Steve…well Two-bit and Darry had already been giving him hell for the past few months as it is and he didn't want to add to that. The last couple of months had been hard on all of them, but especially Steve. He'd been moody and distant after Soda had left. And then his dad passed away a few months after. He acted like it didn't bother him much but they knew better. He started disappearing a lot after that. He'd show up once every few days without much explanation. Then one day Pony found him, Darry and Two-bit arguing. It wasn't as much an argument as Darry and Two-bit yelling at Steve. Pony had never seen Two-bit so angry before. Apparently Steve had gotten involved with the wrong people and started going to some "hippie houses." These were houses where people got together and did drugs and talked about peace or something. Pony wasn't too sure. It's safe to say he was surprised to hear this. Their gang wasn't exactly known to be innocent and law abiding but drugs, especially heroin, were something that they'd always stirred clear of. Pony didn't know too many junkies, but he'd seen M&M, after he got into drugs and it wasn't pretty. Ponyboy didn't say much to Steve, mostly because they didn't give him much detail as to what happened, but he definitely didn't want Steve to end up like M&M. Steve was a stubborn guy, usually Sodapop was the only one who could talk some sense into him, and he wasn't here. He had been acting normal again and was absent less often recently, but he would still occasionally disappear from time to time. If Soda were here, he'd be furious. Maybe that's what Steve needed, Pony thought.

It was getting late but Ponyboy didn't feel like sleeping much. Instead he opened his desk drawer and took out the letters that Soda had sent. He went over some of them quietly. The letters consisted mostly of Soda reassuring Pony that he was alright and that everything was good. He didn't say much else about himself though. He mostly asked about Pony, how things were with Darry, how his school was going, if he was still dating Cathy or not. Cathy was M&M's sister and the fist girl that Ponyboy had ever fallen in love with. Or at least he thought he did at the time. He wasn't too sure about anything anymore. He definitely cared about her, but things just hadn't worked out. Mostly because Ponyboy had gotten too much involved in going to anti-war protests and such. Cathy understood and supported him, yet she didn't want him to be in danger. But Pony found himself too distracted to be in a relationship. They'd soon become more and more distant from each other and decided to end things. There was no argument really. She understood Pony, and he understood her. Pony had written about this in his last letter. Well he didn't tell Soda about him getting involved in the protest. He'd just said that him and Cathy had decided to just be friends, which technically wasn't a lie.

But they hadn't heard from Soda for weeks now, which was making Ponyboy more and more nervous. He knew that Soda couldn't exactly write back every week, but it had never been this long before. What if something was wrong? Ponyboy put the letters away before he became even more paranoid. He decided that he would apologize to Darry in the morning, and maybe Steve too. Now all he wanted was to sleep. It didn't seem very likely, but he had to try.


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own The Outsiders.**

_Ponyboy,_  
_I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. Last couple of weeks have been a bit rough so we didn't have time to write. But don't worry, things are all right now. I'm sorry about Cathy, she seemed like a nice girl. Let me tell ya though, being friends with your ex don't work out very often. I'm telling you from experience. But then again, it might work for you. I still can't believe Two-bit got a job. Got tired of us callin him a lazy bum huh?_

_It's been rainin like crazy here, never knew it could rain for this long. It finally stopped today though. It's a pretty beautiful place when it ain't rainin, you know. I think I get why you look at sunsets so much now, Ponyboy. They really are something._

_Hope you and Darry are gettin along fine. How's work at the supermarket? I hope it doesn't get in the way of your schoolwork. No matter how rough it gets with money, focus on school first. And try not to worry about me too much, I'm alright. Say hi to the guys._

_-Sodapop Curtis_

It was short. It was way too short compared to the letters that Pony would send him. The guys in his platoon called them mini-novels cus they were so long. Soda was glad they were long though. Gave him more time to take a break from the reality that he was in. He would read them over and over whenever he got the chance. Now he felt bad for not writing back a longer letter. But there really was nothing else he could say. What was he supposed to say? That things were getting worse by the minute? That sometimes he was so tired he felt like he would collapse there and then from walking so much? That he'd lost count of the number of friends that he'd lost this week? Pony didn't need to hear all that. Soda wanted to protect him from all that as much as he could. Besides, he didn't wanna talk about it all that much anyway. What was the point?

It had rained for days nonstop. Where the hell was all that rain coming from? Soda thought. Probably should have paid attention in class more. It felt like another lifetime now, that he ever went to school. Had a normal life. Did it even happen? These days, it was becoming hard to believe that a life beyond this jungle ever existed.  
Soda was glad that the rain had stopped. But the quiet was even worse. He hated that the most. You never know what to expect when it's real quiet. You'll be walking down what seems like a peaceful path and the next thing you know you're being shot at and bombed. It's like they're invisible or something. It's excruciating to be in a constant awareness that there might be an attack any minute. Sometimes it never even comes, but the damage is already done. It's like constantly being in a fight or flight mode. Can drive you crazy. And sometimes it does. Guys break down all the time. Sometimes it just gets too much and they crack.  
"Hey Curtis, you got a light?"  
"Sure Mike, here you go?"  
They were lying down on the ground after what seemed like an eternity. Soda couldn't remember the last time he was able to just lye down and relax. Even the cold damp ground felt like a warm bed at this point.  
"Shit it looks like it's gonna rain again soon. Damn and I used to complain about the weather it Tulsa, funny huh?" Mike said annoyed. Mike had become a close buddy to Soda over the past few months. They'd known each other back home too. Well known isn't exactly the right word.  
Mike was a soc. Soda could remember even being in a fight with him a couple of times back home. Him and Steve had gotten into an argument with Mike and a few of his friends. They almost got arrested that night. They'd come close to fighting a couple of times in boot camp too, but that didn't end too well for either of them. The officers were so pissed that they didn't give them a break for a week. Thinking of boot camp made Soda cringe deep down. It was terrible. If he hadn't grown up in his neighborhood, he would have definitely broke there and then. A lot of guys did. That was the point of boot camp, he guessed. To find people's weaknesses and tackle them before sending them to the front lines. It was one of the few times when having grown up on the streets of Tulsa came in handy.

Somehow along the way Soda and Mike started getting along though. You just can't go on fighting one another in a war zone. It just doesn't work. Besides, the whole soc and greaser thing seemed so funny to both of them after everything they'd seen.

"Nah, I don't think it will." Soda said.

This place really was beautiful though. It was funny to Soda that he was only starting to notice those things now. Like how nice it looked when it was late in the night and the stars were clearly visible. Or the moon and even the jungle itself. It's a damn shame that everything was bein blown up though. How come he hadn't paid attention to these things before? They were there all his life.  
He guessed it was because now everything that he saw, he might be seeing for the last time. He suddenly felt a deep sadness in his heart because of this. This seemed to happen a lot recently. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Smoking was no longer a hobby but a necessity.  
"Hey Mike?"  
"hm?" Mike looked like he was almost asleep.  
"You ever seen a sunset?"  
"mhm…sure"  
"No I mean like…like really seen one. Like how the colors change and stuff?"  
Mike opened his eyes and glanced at Soda, "I guess…I mean it's always there so.."  
"Yeah" Soda whispered. "That's what I like about it, it's always there…I mean, no matter what we're doin down here or all over the world, don't make no difference. Sun still comes up, ya get what I mean…"  
Mike was quiet and a bit surprised by this sudden outburst. Soda usually kept things light…well as light as it gets during war.  
"Boy and I thought greasers weren't helpless romantics."  
Soda laughed and nudged him on the side. "I don't know…I ain't makin much sense to myself lately." Soda said quietly.  
"You alright?" Mike asked seriously now.  
"Yeah I'm alright." Soda didn't know what was wrong really. He usually didn't get so emotional and kept his cool but today was particularly hard.  
"Yeah sunsets are nice alright."  
They were quiet for a while then Mike said,  
"You wanna know something?…I always sorta envied you guys…greasers"  
Soda looked at him surprised. "Oh yeah? Which part exactly the being poor part or being outcasts?"  
"You're tightness I guess, ya'll stick together no matter what…I didn't see much of that around my people. It was sort of all fake you know…well most of it was at least."  
"You gotta be tight if you grow up in a neighborhood like mine. It's the only way to survive…if you don't got a family at home you have to make one yourself."  
They were silent for a while and then Mike said,  
"Hey Soda, what happened to your folks?" He knew they were dead but he'd never really gotten to ask how it happened.  
"Passed away in a car wreck a few years ago" Soda said in a whisper. "They were real good parents, you know. That ain't very common in my neighborhood. They were sort of like parents to the gang too."  
One time Johnny had told Soda that their family was the only normal one left. That changed though, things just don't stay normal in their neighborhood.  
"Sure sound better then my folks." Mike said bitterly. He didn't get along with his parents much, especially his dad. He was a politician. Mike hadn't been drafted, his dad signed him up. He'd been getting into a lot of trouble and making a bad reputation for his father's good name, which didn't work so well with his campaign so he'd decided to "get rid of him" as Mike had put it.  
"Tell you what though," Mike said, "soon as we get the hell outta here, you n' I are goin out for a drink."  
"Hey ladies, you mind keepin it down over there, tryin to write somethin over here" That was Nate. He had a girl back home and couldn't talk about anything else besides her.  
"You writin love letters again huh Nate?" Soda asked with a laugh.  
"None of your business what I'm writin!"  
"Hey lovebird, want me to write some poems for you? Girlies like that sorta stuff you know?" Ryan said with a laugh. He came over and sat next to Soda and Mike. "Ya'll wouldn't happen to have a cancer stick lyin around would ya?" Ryan could sound so much like Dallas sometimes. Soda had been thinking about Dallas a lot lately. He didn't know why exactly. He just had.  
They passed him a cigarette and he started smoking quietly, looking at the sky. Ryan was from California. He was in his late 20's. He liked Soda a lot. Well, they all did really. He was the youngest one from all of them.  
'you smile way to much to be in a battlefield, kid' they'd always tell him. Well that was becoming close to impossible lately. He was still looking for the bright side…no luck finding it so far. What possible good could he find in a place like this?

He wondered what Pony, Darry and the guys were doing now. Probably gathered at the Curtis house. Two-bit watching Mickey. Pony's reading a book. Darry's reading the newspaper or teasing Two-bit. And Steve…well Steve and Soda would usually be doing something together. Soda wondered what he's up to now, he hadn't been hearing too much from him.  
What would happen to them if Soda didn't return? Soda worried about this the most. He had to make it back, they couldn't take another loss, another funeral. He'd get back, he would survive, he had to. 3 more months, Soda kept telling himself. 3 more months and he'd be home with them. 3 more months and no more rain or walking or shooting or any of it. He thought these things as he slowly drifted to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own The Outsiders**

2 months later

"You know what would hit the spot right now? Roasted turkey." Ryan said with an exaggerated sigh.

"Chocolate cake for desert." Soda added with a grin. "a soft bed afterwards wouldn't be too bad either."

They were walking down a particularly muddy path. The long leaves weren't helping either.

"there's this one place near my house, sells the best burgers ya'll will ever taste."

"would you two stop that? Makin me hungry."

It was quiet again. Soda was starting to miss the sound of the rain. Anything was better than this silence.

"we'll walk a little more, then we'll take a break." Lieutenant Smith said. Sam Smith was a very patriotic guy. Most of the guys hated being there. It's not that Smith enjoyed being here, but he believed in the cause, which is more than the rest did. He believed he was doing what he had to do. He was serving his country. Soda didn't agree with him. He hated being here and he didn't believe that anything was being achieved. No good was coming out of it. He felt tricked and betrayed by his own country. In fact, most of the guys did. He had come close to arguing with him on a few occasions. Sam was a tough guy. If anyone else had dared to disagree with him, he would have made them regret it. But Soda was different somehow. Sam liked him a lot and tried to keep him out of trouble on many occasions. He just couldn't stay mad at him so he had let it go. Sometimes Soda thought that Sam also felt the way that he did, but Sam would hide it. It's not easy believing in something and putting your best into it only to be deceived at the end. They were told to do things that were downright wrong. There were a lot of innocent casualties but Soda tried not to think about this too much. Adding guilt to the equation was not a good idea, at least not now. They were too busy trying to stay alive. They heard that there was a lot of trouble back home too. Anti-war protests and such. Some people were happy with what was going on, some weren't and others just didn't give a crap. They listened to the radio a lot. Sometimes there were good things, but other times they would hear insults and blames to soldiers who were "killing innocent people down in 'Nam" which didn't make them feel so hot to say the least. Ain't like he chose to be here, Soda thought. But it is what it is, so he kept walking.

But then it got too quiet. Suddenly they were being shot at from all corners, problem was they couldn't see who was shooting. See, the enemy knew the jungles very well, they on the other hand, had no clue which made them fall into traps back and forth. They took cover and started shooting back. It was pitch black by then, which wasn't helping the matter. Soda shot back to wherever he thought the shots were coming from. He managed to hit a few, but they just wouldn't stop. Before Soda knew it, there were bombs falling too. One of them must have went off near him because he felt himself shoved to the side. When he got up his arm was a bloody mess, thankfully everything else seemed to be fine. Smith gave an order to retreat so they started running. Soda was a fast runner which gave him an advantage. It was hard to see or breath through all the shooting. Then he spotted Mike on the ground. His shoulder was bleeding but it didn't look too serious. Soda helped him up.

"Hey Mikie you promised me a drink remember?" Mike was pretty heavy and Soda's hurting arm wasn't helping either.

"Have I ever told you you're a lil nuts Soda?" Mike said panting.

"Head for the ditch!" Smith yelled. If they managed to pass through it, they had a chance of getting to safety. Soda was almost near it when he stopped short. He could hear Ryan screaming from behind. He had been near him the entire time along with Mike but Soda couldn't see him anymore. He turned around trying to see through all the smoke. He started debating in his head for a second and then he helped Mike down near the ditch and started running back.

"Soda wait?" Mike said trying to stop him.

"Curtis what the hell are you doing? Get your ass back here!" Smith yelled. But Soda didn't stop. He knew it was crazy but he had to at least try. Too many people had died already. He tried to ignore all the bodies of fellow soldiers that he saw on the way. Then he spotted Ryan across him. He was trapped behind a tree that seemed to have fallen from the blasts. Ryan had his leg stuck under a large branch. Soda moved it off slowly and help Ryan up. He gave a little cry from the pain.

"You're alright buddy, come on" Soda said and they started towards the ditch again. Ryan wasn't walking well but he was able to manage without hanging on Soda too much. There was a fire starting all around them by now. The pain in Soda's arm was getting worse. He soon forgot about his arm though when he felt a sharper pain in his shoulder and then his chest. He didn't realize what was happening at first. It was a sort of daze really. One minute he was running and then he felt himself fall back and hit the ground. He could see bomb blasts and fire in the sky. It was kinda nice actually. Like fireworks.

"Dumb kid!" he could hear Sam saying from somewhere near him. He must have ran back for him, which was real nice of him, Soda thought. He wonders if it started raining again because he could swear the ground underneath him is soaked and so is his shirt. He can hear Ryan calling his name too but Soda isn't there anymore.

It's fourth of July and the Curtis's are watching the fireworks from the top of a hill because it's more clear from there. Soda can't see past a tall boulder that's in front of them, so he's sitting on his dad's shoulders. The fireworks are loud yet peaceful. Pony's poking his dad from the side, he want to go next. Soda doesn't mind though, he wants Pony to see it too. It's the tuffest thing he's ever seen. Darry, of coarse is tall enough to see it so he picks up pony. Ponyboy giggles with excitement. Mom's getting out the sandwiches from a little picnic basket she brought with them. She's smart like that. She always comes prepared. If it were left up to the them they'd all forget, Soda thinks. Steve would love this too. Soda makes a note to himself to ask Steve to come with them next year. Mom wouldn't mind making more sandwiches, he's sure.

Then Soda suddenly jolts awake, covered in sweat. There's a lot of noise around him but he can't make out any of it. His ears are ringing like crazy. There's people screaming all around him. He tries to take in a breath but the air doesn't seem to reach his lungs, which he finds weird. Then someone starts cutting open his shirt. He's lying on some sort of a stretcher and a girl is pressing on his chest really hard. Soda wishes she would stop though, it hurts like hell as it is. He notices that there are others around him too all on stretchers and bleeding. There's also a lot of people walking back and forth, some carrying others with them. These guys look terrible. You're not doing so hot either buddy, he thinks to himself. His head is spinning so much, it feels like he's on a roller coaster. He tries to breath again but it's still not working. Is he dying? Soda wonders. It sure feels like it. Then everything goes black and he finally relaxes.

**Whew! Okay this was probably the hardest chapter I've written. Describing a battle seen is harder than I thought lol. Let me know what you think. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi peeps, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was out of town for a few days and I didn't have a computer with me. The plus side is that I spent extremely long hours stuck in a car so I had a chance to write. **

**Enjoy and review, it keeps me motivated. **

**I don't own The Outsiders.**

When Soda opens his eyes everything is a white haze. For a minute he wonders weather he is dead or not. It would make sense, he got shot and now he's dead. He wouldn't be the first soldier. That would be a real bummer though. There's not much he's accomplished in his short years. Maybe he should have stayed in school. Maybe he should have said a better goodbye to Pony and Darry and the guys.

Were Mike and the guys alright though? Did they make it out alive? What would Ponyboy and Darry do now that he was gone? And Steve and Two-bit? This worries Soda a lot but he doesn't seem to have enough energy to react. First he has to figure out where he is.

He can sense that someone is near him, walking around checking something and then walking back to the other side again.

The next thing he sees is a woman hovering over him, and boy is she beautiful. She has dark hair and the bluest eyes that Soda has ever seen. This makes Soda even more reassured that he's dead. This is probably heaven and she's an angel. She sure looks like one, plus she's wearing white.

Shoot, so the whole heaven thing is true then. The first thing that Soda wonders is how the hell he even ended up in heaven. He hasn't exactly lived a sinless life. Plus the last time he was in church…well let's just say he hadn't spent his time praying.

The girl is speaking now. In fact she's speaking to Soda. He can see her lips moving and hear words coming out, but he can't exactly catch what she's saying for some reason. It's like the words are just a noise that contain no meaning behind them. Soda doesn't mind much though. There's something about her that calms him down. Maybe it's the way she smiles. She smiles one last time, then picks up some papers and walks away. Soda want to stop her, ask her to stay, he doesn't want to be alone right now, but he's not able to let any words come out. Then he feels his eyelids get heavier and darkness comes again.

When Soda wakes up again, things make a little more sense. He is lying in a bed with a curtain drawn halfway around it. Through the opening he can see other guys lying in beds aligned next to one another. The guy next to him looks like he's practically dead. So this must be some kind of a hospital, he figures. For a minute he can't seem to understand what he's doing there but then everything comes rushing back. The bombs, the shooting, the smoke. He must have been hit.

His first instinct is to see if he can move his legs or not. He'd seen too many guys get paralyzed waist down after an attack, he has to make sure. He starts to panic a little when he isn't able to do it. In fact, he can't seem to move any part of his body. It's as though he's forgotten how his own body works. What if he's paralyzed and won't be able to move for the rest of his life? What the hell was he gonna do then? He'd thought the idea of death was scary but hell, this was worse. He calms down a little bit when he slowly comes back to himself and gets a bit of control over his body.

He raises his head with great effort to check and see what state he's in. There is a needle in his left arm that is connected to an IV and his right arm is covered in bandages. He cringes a little remembering the bomb. He's wearing a white shirt but he can tell that his chest and shoulder are bandaged too. Basically, he looks like he should be in a lot of pain right now. He guesses that's what the IV is for.

After a little while a very bitter looking nurse comes by and starts checking a few things. Soda wants to ask her where exactly he is and how long he's been there but he doesn't seem to find the energy. Plus, she doesn't look like she's up for a chat anyway.

Soda seemed to be falling in and out of consciousness for a while but as time went by he became more alert. He was also starting to feel a little pain around his chest which he wasn't too thrilled about. It reminds him of when he had broken two ribs in a fight that he and Steve had gotten into with a few socs. Boy would he want to see Steve right now, he suddenly realizes how much he's missed him. Steve and Ponyboy and Darry and Two-bit and Johnny and Dallas. Except he wouldn't ever see Johnny and Dallas again. Soda suddenly starts feeling so homesick he could bawl his eyes out. He wishes someone was at least there with him so he wouldn't be so alone. Why was he so overly emotional all of sudden? He figured it must be the drugs or something. Or maybe it's the fact that he almost died..

After what feels like an eternity, another nurse approaches his bed. Soda notices that it's the same girl that he had seen when he first woke up. By now, Soda figures she's not an angel. Man that was one weird trip, Soda thinks to himself now realizing how ridiculous that idea was.

She comes closer to check on his bandages and when she notices that he's awake, she smiles the most beautiful smile that Soda has ever seen. She might not be an angel but she's the closest thing to it Soda has ever seen.

"How are you feeling?" her voice matches her looks.

"I'm alright" Soda says, not expecting his voice to sound so weird. "actually I'm not feeling much at all." She picks up a chart from the side of the bed.

"Yes, that must be the morphine. You're one lucky guy you know, Mr….Sodapop Curtis? That a nickname?" she pauses for a second looking at Soda confused. Great, Soda had to have another one of the usual "wow what a weird name" talks. He could remember the first time the guys at the army first heard his name. That was loads of fun.

"No that's my real name actually." Soda says attempting to smile.

"Well Sodapop, your parents must be very fun people," she said with a smile.

"Yeah" Soda answered simply. That sudden feeling of sadness comes back again as soon as he thinks of his parents. Had it really been three years? Feels like it happened yesterday at that moment. Soda misses being a kid, not having to worry about things that normal guys his age wouldn't have to worry about, like paying bills or hell, fighting a war that he doesn't even believe in for starters. Soda pushes those thoughts away quickly, reminding himself that greasers don't cry in front of others, especially girls.

The nurse must have noticed Soda look a little distressed because she suddenly put her hand gently on his arm and said

"It's all right now, you're going to be okay. You just need some rest." Surprisingly this makes Soda feel much better.

"I'm going to give you some medication now so you can sleep better, okay?" she says with the same soft nursing tone.

"Okay."

Then she injects something into the IV and Soda almost immediately feels himself get a lot groggier. She starts checking something on the bandages on his arm now. God she's pretty, Soda thinks to himself. He wants to look at her longer and talk to her but he feels his eyes getting heavier. By the time she's finished, Soda falls asleep again.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own The Outsiders**

"You know I thought you were an angel?" She was back to change his bandages again the next morning, or at least Soda thought it was next morning. It was sort of hard to keep track of time. The sun was shining through the window next to his bed so he figured it must be morning.

"I'm sorry?" She asked surprised.

"I mean, when I first saw you…I figured I'd probably died and went to heaven or somthin so you must be an angel" wow very smooth, Soda thought to himself. Probably not a good idea to bring that up. If Two-bit were here he'd make so much fun of him.

She chuckled softly and said, "well, fortunately you didn't die and unfortunately this isn't heaven…and I'm just a nurse."

"What's your name?"

"I'm not allowed to tell patients my name, but you can call me nurse." She said with a smile.

"Well that's a lil unfair, don't you think? You know my name but I can't know yours."

"Sorry, don't make the rules." she said seriously but she was hiding a smile.

"Guess I'll have to call you Angel then." Soda said with a grin.

She was usually good at keeping things very professional, but it was hard with this guy for some reason. Maybe it was because he was so good looking and smiled so bright. He's a patient, she mentally told herself. Her job here was to give medical help, not to get distracted. She didn't say anything and poured some water into a glass that was next to Soda's bed.

Soda suddenly realized that he was very thirsty. How long had it been since he'd drank anything?

"Would you like some water?" She asked, offering. Soda nodded but couldn't seem to be able to take the glass from her hand. She noticed and moved the glass to his mouth, lifting his head a little.

"Thanks" he said. He was starting to feel tired again. How was that even possible? All he'd done was lie around for the past…how long had it even been?

"How long have I been here?" Soda asked.

"About three days, you were hurt pretty bad but you're recovering quickly" she said smiling again.

"You've got a really nice smile you know that?" Soda said before he could stop himself. These drugs were really getting to his head.

"Alright, I think you should get some rest." She said with a laugh.

Soda didn't have to be told twice.

Soda was more than happy to be away from the battlefield and out of danger, but lying in bed all day wasn't exactly his idea of a good time either. It was depressing, being here with all these other guys who were hurt like him. Some had it much worse though, some were in comas or were missing body parts so Soda couldn't complain so much. Most of the time he was unconscious though, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It was a break from it all, an escape from reality. But the feeling that he would get every time he'd wake up made up for all the time that he'd missed. What was the point of all this? These guys didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve this.

The worse part was that they hadn't accomplished anything. Sure they might have saved a few people, but they ruined and took lives too. Soda shuddered at the very thought. He tried his best to block precisely that part from his memory. He'd break if he didn't.

This whole thing was a scam. More and more people were starting to realize it, even people like Sam.

The very idea of going back there made Soda wish he'd never gotten out in the first place. His full draft was 11 months with one month of leave, but Soda, like most guys, had chosen to leave that for the last month and just go home after 10 months. He'd only done 9 months though and now had to go back for another month.

Man, did he miss the times when socs were his biggest problem. Although it all seemed so silly now, fighting your own.

In fact, Soda realized that fighting overall didn't appeal to him much anymore. Sure it was exciting, but what was the point? What was the point of wasting your time on rivalry and hate when there's so much more to life. When there are people on the front lines hoping that they'll have a chance to see another sunrise. There really was no use in fighting. It's so easy to lose everything. Soda had learned this ever since his parents had died but Vietnam reassured him of it.

The highlight of his days there were seeing Angel. There was something about her. Not just that she was good looking, something more that Soda couldn't quite put his finger on. She was kind to everyone, not in a fake way but actual kindness. Like she wanted to be there. She wanted to give her best just to help these poor bastards including Soda.

"Hey Angel" Soda said with a wide smile as soon as he saw her approach.

"I thought we'd decided you wouldn't call me that anymore?" She said, hiding a smile.

"Well then you gotta tell me your name, Come on, I ain't gonna tell anyone."

She looked at him for a second and said, "alright, I'll make you a deal. As soon as you get better and are no longer my patient, I'll tell you my name."

"Promise?"

"Promise"

"I'm gonna keep you to that promise, you know" Soda said with a grin. She didn't say anything but started changing the bandages on his chest. Soda hated this process, it hurt like hell and he was always so groggy afterwards, but it was mandatory. He didn't mind It much when it was her doing it though. It gave him a chance to talk to her, ask her questions. He wanted to know everything about her. Where she was from, what she liked to do in her free time, her interests, her hobbies, everything.

"I used to go to Tulsa a lot when I was little. My dad had to go there for business and he would take me with him. It's a nice place" she had said once after Soda told her that he's from Tulsa. "Hey who knows, maybe we've passed each other on the street before" She added.

"Nah, I doubt you would have been in my neighborhood."

Then Soda told her about greasers and socs and their rivalry. He told her about Ponyboy and Darry and the gang. Talking to her was so easy. Especially because her expression didn't change once when Soda told her about him being a greaser. Most people start treating you suspiciously after finding out, like they would treat a criminal, but not her. She just nodded and listened as though she was fascinated by it all, by how close the gang was and how much they stood up for one another. She seemed sympathetic and even a bit hurt when Soda would tell her about the types of families that there are in his neighborhood and how much they all had to go through. She seemed to take it so close to heart that Soda regretted telling her sometims.

He had never before been so open with a girl before, not even Sandy. He didn't exactly know why he was open with her. Maybe because she was a good listener or maybe he really needed to speak to someone. They just clicked for some reason.

Her family wasn't poor from what she said, they weren't millionaires, but they were pretty well off. Soda couldn't call her a soc though or anything else really. She was a class of her own. Different.

Besides, classes didn't really exist for him anymore and they didn't seem to matter to her either.


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own The Outsiders**

All the nurses there were very fond of him. In fact, they would smile extra wide every time they were near him. Angel noticed this too, and she couldn't blame them to be honest. He had a certain charm, she had to admit to herself. She knew it wasn't professional to become friends with your patients but, this was different somehow.

If Soda was awake, he spent most of his time entertaining the other guys in the room. They liked him too. Even the soldier next to him, who'd lost both legs, couldn't help but laugh when he'd make a joke. Angel had grown to like him too. It made her sad though, knowing that he had to go back there. She felt bad for all the boys, really. She hated the fact that they had to be stuck in a jungle fighting for their lives while everyone else at home continued living as though everything was okay. It's the reason she'd volunteered to come here in the first place. She had to do something, help somehow.

The day was a long one and she was tired. She could hardly stand on her feet as she made one last walk around the medic room, checking on every patient. A lot of these poor guys would have nightmares at night. That was something that couldn't really be cured with medicine or bandages. She would sit with them if she had to though. But you just can't control someone's subconscious. It just wasn't fair, she thought for the millionth time this week.

As she approached Soda's bed, she couldn't help but smile a little. Spending time with him had surly become the highlight of her days over the past week. She loved being around him, talking to him…and he wasn't too bad to look at either. She had to mentally shake herself as soon as she thought that. This was insane, he's just a patient like the other guys, to think otherwise was just silly.

She felt panic growing in her as soon as she got closer to him though. He was panting heavily as though he were in pain and his forehead was covered in sweat. She put her hand on his forehead noticing that he was burning up. She had dealt with situations like this numerous times before. Patients would sometimes take a bad turn, it wasn't unusual. But now she felt helpless all of a sudden.

"Soda?" She asked, shaking him a bit. He didn't answer. She picked herself up then reminding herself that she's a nurse. The medication didn't seem to be doing any good so she decided to get some towels and cold water and sat on the little stool that was next to his bed. He shuddered a little when she put the wet towel on his forehead. He didn't seem to be aware that she was there at first and kept mumbling things in his sleep that she couldn't understand. But then after a while he opened his eyes.

"Hey Angel" he whispered, smiling weakly.

"Hey Soda" She said, relieved to at least hear his voice.

"It's really hot in here" He said closing his eyes again.

"I know, you're burning up a bit. Try to sleep okay?" He was quiet for a while trying to get through the pain.

"You know there's this little coffee shop in Tulsa…it's not fancy or anythin but it's real nice" He said with a grin. "Think maybe you n me could get a drink sometime…you know, after all this is over?" If all this is over, Soda thought to himself but didn't voice it.

She laughed sadly and said, "I don't think this is the best time to be asking me out on a date you know."

"Yeah well, the fever's sorta helping out." He said with a laugh.

They were quiet for a long time while she continued to apply the cold towels. They didn't seem to be helping much though because his fever was getting worse.

"Can I ask you something?" Soda said suddenly.

"Go ahead"

"Why do you think bad things happen?" He asked, looking at her as though she had all the answers. She was shocked for a second. That was a question she asked herself on a daily basis, but couldn't find the answer to.

"I don't know" She whispered tears welling up in her eyes. She wished she had the answer, but there really was nothing she could say.

"You know I used to be able to find the bright side to everything, even bad things….it's becoming kinda hard lately though." He said with a sigh.

"Maybe you just need to keep looking" she said, not fully believing her own words. They were quiet again. He seemed to be in a feverish state again. She wondered for a minute if she should go get a doctor, but realized that they didn't usually disturb the doctors for cases like these. This shouldn't be any different, she tried to convince herself. He suddenly took her hand then and whispered, not fully opening his eyes.

"Could you stay here…just this time?"

She didn't say anything. She hadn't planned on leaving anyway. She took his hand with her other and continued sitting next to him, letting a few tears run down her face. Tears for Soda and the rest of the boys that were in that room. Tears for the fact that she was there too. Tears for the craziness that was taking place in the world.


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own The Outsiders**

It was Wednesday, which meant that Soda had been in the medic base for 10 days now. Soda knew it was Wednesday mostly because Angel told him that she didn't work at his facility on Wednesdays, which made staying in bed all day even more agonizing. Funny that he had been daydreaming about a soft bed for over 9 months and now he was getting sick of it. Soda honestly couldn't remember a time in his life when he had done absolutely nothing for this long. The closest thing he could remember was when he had broken his leg after falling off of a neighbor's rooftop when he was 9.

It was about 7 in the evening when Two-bit had come up with another one of his "brilliant ideas." Long story short, by the end of the night Soda, Steve and Two-bit had managed to piss off about half of the neighborhood, 2 cops showed up, Soda broke his leg and Mrs. Curtis grounded all of them for 2 weeks. Two-bit's mom completely agreed with Mrs. Curtis and Steve had given up on the whole "I'm not exactly a part of this family so you can't ground me" speech a long time ago. Sometime throughout the years Mrs. Curtis had decided that if Steve's dad wasn't going to ground him then it was up to her to do it. Steve didn't mind though because Mrs. Curtis didn't only ground him but treated him like her own son in every way. So being grounded made Steve feel even more like a part of a family that he so longed for. Soda didn't mind being grounded much either because he was stuck in his bed anyway. Steve stayed at the Curtis's for those two weeks, keeping Soda company. It ended up being more of a sleepover rather than a punishment really and it was all completely worth it.

But this time Soda hadn't broken his leg because of a dumb dare and Steve wasn't there to keep him company. He had gotten shot in a war zone, drowning in his own blood and then been dragged to this hellhole spending most of his days in a half comatose state and waking up to nightmares at nights. What a pathetic turn of events for him and his fellow fallen soldiers, Soda thought almost laughing about it. He did that a lot these days, laughing at his own pain.

He was strictly given orders by the doctors not to get up without someone's assistance but then Soda had never really been keen on following rules in the first place. He had managed to get up on his own and walk around for a while a few times before...the staff wasn't very happy about that though. Soda laughed internally, remembering the nurse's horrified face. The doctor was even more furious. Soda thought he over exaggerated… but then he figured it must have been because he had also sneaked a cigarette...which he also wasn't allowed to do. He had gotten it from Jason, who was lying a few beds over. Hey, he offered and Soda couldn't exactly refuse.

After tossing around in bed for over 2 hours feeling sorry for himself, Soda decided he had had enough. He looked around the room and after making sure that there were no nurses or doctors around, he slowly sat up and moved the blankets off of him. So far so good, he thought to himself. Getting up didn't prove to be as easy though. He must have done it too fast because the room around him started spinning like crazy. He sat down again closing his eyes for a minute. He got up again, this time taking it slowly. Walking alone was more difficult than he had thought. He had to hold on to something on the side most of the time so he wouldn't fall over...but hey, practice makes perfect. He walked over to the exit, trying to avoid any nurses. He was startled a little as soon as he was at the door when he noticed Angel walk in.

"Soda!"

"Angel!" Soda said grinning and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Well I was just…." she looked a little uncomfortable for a minute but then recovered quickly and said "what am I doing here? What are _you_ ding here?"

"Thought I would go for a little walk…"

"Soda, you can't just go for a walk like that on your own"

"Why not?" Soda asked, playing dumb.

"oh I don't know probably because you got shot twice!" She exclaimed.

Soda couldn't help but laugh. He loved it when she acted like this. It was real cute.

"Well, if you come with me then I won't be going alone" Soda said grinning even wider.

"Come on it's good for my health right, fresh air and all that, and uhh you're here so I'm guessing you're free for the evening." She hesitated for a minute trying to look angry, which made her look even more cute.

She tried to say no but…you just can't think straight when he smiles like that, she admitted to herself angrily.

"Fine, but we can't stay long."

"Yes ma'am!"

They walked out through the exit which led to a little "garden". Well it wasn't exactly a luxury health center, in fact it was the complete opposite of that, very gloomy, but it was a nice little area where the patients would walk and "get fresh air" and stuff. Overall, it was a very depressing place, but it sure beat the hospital room especially with Angel there. Soda suddenly felt lightheaded and swayed a little while he was walking.

"We should go back" Angel said, holding on to him.

"No no I'm fine really."

They continued walking with Soda leaning on her a little more. He hoped he wouldn't fall over, that would be really embarrassing. They stayed quiet at first and then Soda looked at her for a while and said

"Why are you here?" She looked a little confused at first so Soda added "I mean, why here of all places? Why come here?"

"Because…I'm needed here the most." She said simply. "You know I just…it felt wrong to stay home and continue living normally while all this is going on."

Soda stopped walking for a second smiling at her a bit amazed.

"What?" She asked?

"I think you're the bravest person I've ever met." Soda said.

She laughed and they continued walking.

"I'm serious, that's real tuff…and heroic."

"Well I hear you're a bit of a hero yourself." Soda looked at her questioningly.

"You went back to save your friend right?"

Soda smiled feeling a little uncomfortable. "How'd you know about that?"

"You're not the only one from your platoon who's here."

That would be Rick, Soda thought. Rick had also been hurt pretty bad during that mission and they'd ended up in the same place. Apparently he had told the story, in concrete detail of Soda's heroism. It was nice of him to tell her that. He obviously noticed how close Soda and the she had gotten. Sneaky bastard, Soda thought. He should probably thank him later.

"I just happened to be standing the closest to him." Soda said. It was sorta true.

"Don't be modest" She said laughing.

He wasn't being modest. He didn't like thinking that he did something heroic. He might have saved someone's life but it didn't take away from the fact that he had taken lives too. That was something he could never let go of however hard he tried or however many people he saved. What was done was final. There were no take-backs and he had to live with that for the rest of his life. For a long time he had tried to reason with himself by thinking that this was war and you did what you had to do to survive but there comes a point when that's just not enough. He had given up on thinking otherwise a while ago. He really didn't have a choice, but that didn't make the guilt go away, so he'd given up on it.

They sat down on one of the little seats that were aligned along the path.

"So how long you been here?" Soda asked trying to change the conversation.

"7 months…this is my last month actually."

"aren't you a little too young to be a nurse?"

"Aren't you a little too young to be a soldier?" She said smiling.

"Good point." Soda admitted. Technically she was a year older than him but still.

"As soon as I finished my training I came here, didn't take too long." She added.

"Well your family must be real proud." Soda said grinning. She didn't say anything looking a little uneasy and then added.

"ahh I wouldn't say so." Soda looked at her questioningly and she continued

"Well, according to my mom what I'm doing isn't very …serious."

Soda was shocked for a minute.

"what's more serious than a war zone?"

She laughed and said.

"According to her, a young lady like me should spend her time looking for a well educated, rich husband who can provide for a family." She said a little mockingly and started laughing again.

"well that sounds real boring."

"That's what I said." She added. "My dad's more supportive though. I mean he wasn't exactly thrilled to here that his daughters leaving for Vietnam but still, he supported me."

"Sounds like a cool guy." Soda said.

"Yeah…what about your parents, are they real proud too?"

Soda was quiet for a minute not expecting this question. But then he remembered that he'd never told her about what happened to them.

"Actually they died in a car wreck a few years ago."

She suddenly looked very uncomfortable and blushed.

"oh…I'm sorry…I didn't-"

"It's okay" Soda added quickly. They were quiet again for a minute and then Soda said.

"They were real nice though… I mean, good parents aren't really common where I live…but they were real good. I don't know sometimes I think normal doesn't work in the north side."

She had that expression again. The one Soda had come to see a lot every time he would say something like that. Like she felt guilty for some reason for being better off than others.

"They were real original with names too if you haven't noticed." Soda said trying to lighten the mood.

She smiled and said.

"I think it's nice." She looked so gorgeous then. Soda always thought she looked amazing but there was something about that moment that was special. She wasn't wearing any make up, her hair was a bit messy and she was wearing a regular nurse's uniform, yet she looked more beautiful than any girl Soda had ever seen. Like she was glowing somehow. They locked gazes for a minute just looking at each other, both of them broken and messy. Then Soda leaned in closer and kissed her softly on the lips. It took less than a second but it was the most intense kiss Soda had ever had in his life. 2 years of being with Sandy had never made him feel the way that he felt at that moment. It was more than just physical attraction, it was much more than that.

"Wait for me?" he blurted out before he could stop himself. He realized just how pathetic it sounded as soon as he's said it. She's known him for a little more than a week it was stupid to ask her something like that. Why the hell would she wait for you when she has the perfect life waiting for her at home? Soda thought to himself. He looked awkwardly at the ground and said "sorry...that was a stupid thing to say I-"

"It's not stupid" She said, lifting his face up to look at him. Then she kissed him and Soda felt a sense of relief and happiness that he hadn't felt in a very long time.

They stayed like that for a while, just looking at each other, smiling. Then they walked around a little more, talking about everything. For those brief moments Soda forgot where he was and so did she. They talked about many things, anything besides the war really. Soda told her about Two-bit and the number of times they'd gotten in trouble together. He told her about Ponyboy and how he's the smartest one from them all. He talked about Darry and Steve and even Johnny and Dallas. And she told him about her family and how her mom had gotten mad at her for going for a walk alone on the "wrong" side of Tulsa.

"She was right about that…not everyone's as nice as I am over there ya know." Soda said with a grin.

"Who said you're nice?"

They continued walking for a little more but Soda was feeling really tired all of a sudden even though they hadn't been out for too long. Plus his chest wound was starting to hurt a lot. That was the most annoying one. He didn't want to go back though, he wanted to stay with her longer. She must have noticed that he wasn't feeling well though because she said

"Let's go back now okay? I think that was enough for today."

His vision was starting to blur a little and he was feeling lightheaded, which never ended well so he reluctantly said, "okay"

They walked back. Soda was relying on her a little more this time. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty for agreeing to stay out so late.

As soon as he got into bed though he felt his body getting weaker. His chest and shoulder were hurting something fierce now. She put the bed sheets over him and checked on his bandages. She noticed him wince a little when she did and asked.

"Does it hurt?"

"A little, it's fine" he lied. "I had a great time today" he said with a grin.

She didn't say anything but injected something into the IV and Soda started feeling more comfortable.

"This should help" she said with a smile pushing away some hair that had stuck to his forehead with perspiration. His hair was much longer now.

Soda looked at her for a minute but felt himself drifting off quickly, his eyes fluttering closed.

"you know I'm starting to think you do that just to shut me up" he said with a smile. She said something after that but Soda was already asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own The Outsiders**

It was 4 in the morning when Pony jolted awake in his bed. He was glad that at least he didn't scream this time. On a few occasions Darry had ran into his room when he had heard, he'd even offered to stay with him a few times but Pony refused. Honestly he was starting to get embarrassed to have to ask someone to comfort him after a nightmare. He was almost 17, it was getting ridiculous. With Soda it had been different, he just couldn't be the same with Darry. Pony could tell that Darry was worried about him and it made him feel terrible. Darry had enough troubles as it was and was as worried about Soda as Pony was. Pony tried his best to act as normal around him as possible. He'd even stopped going to protests and meetings because Darry had asked him to so much.

The nightmares had stopped for a while but ever since Soda left they would return more often. Usually Soda would be there to snap him out of it, comfort him, but he wasn't there. In fact he had now become the main source of his nightmares. He would see Soda die in his dreams or get hurt or call Pony for help, but he would never be able to get there on time. Not once. They kept him up for hours afterwards. He would try his best not to think about them during the day by keeping himself as busy as possible. If he wasn't at school, he was at work, if he wasn't at work he was doing schoolwork, if he wasn't doing schoolwork he was doing housework. For a while he'd kept himself busy with the protests and stuff, but…he had started to realize that they weren't leading to anything except causing more chaos. Not to mention he had been arrested on more than one occasion. It was a wonder how he hadn't ended up in a boys home by now. Of coarse Pony hadn't told Soda about any of this. Not about the trouble he had gotten in, not about Steve, or anything bad really. He kept his letters as positive as possible.

His shift at the supermarket started at 7 but he decided to get up anyway. It wasn't like he'd be able to sleep anymore. He got up, took a shower, greased his hair, put on his work cloths, the usual regime. Then he made breakfast for him and Darry and a little bit extra in case Steve or Two-bit dropped in. He wasn't hungry at all, he never was lately, but Darry didn't need to know that so he made some for himself too every morning.

He was about to finish when Steve walked in, wearing a DX shirt. He never bothered with the cap though, that was Soda's thing.

"Hey" Ponyboy said.

"Mornin…Superman not up yet?" Steve asked looking around.

"Nah…he'll probably be up soon, want some breakfast?"

"Sure"

They'd been getting along really well over the past few months. They hadn't exactly been enemies before but they hadn't gotten along too well either. Pony didn't know what changed exactly. Maybe it was because he was older now or maybe it was Soda's absence. Probably both, he figured. They'd just sort of started getting each other, finally. Pony hadn't attacked Steve after his drug use like the Darry and Two-bit had and Steve hadn't gotten mad at Pony when he'd started getting in trouble like the others. They understood each other and didn't ask further questions. Steve had even gotten Pony out of a few protests when they'd gotten too messy. He hadn't told Darry though and Pony was thankful. And Pony had been extra helpful when Steve's dad had died. He had never directly mentioned the whole drug thing to Steve, but he'd tried to point out on a few occasions that it wouldn't lead to anything good and that Soda would be furious. Steve seemed to listen, mostly.

Pony was setting the table when Darry came out of his room.

"Thought it was my turn to cook," he said rubbing his neck.

"I was feeling generous," Pony said.

"Hey Dar, you think you could give a ride to the gas station? Car broke down again." Steve asked, getting up from the couch. He had turned on the TV and was watching Mickey. Leave it to Two-bit to get them addicted to a cartoon.

"You know if _you _can't even fix that thing then it's time for it to go man." Pony said, adding another plate to the table.

"Hey watch how you talk about my baby" Steve said punching him on the arm.

"Yeah sure, I'll take you. He's right about the car though." Darry said filling his plate with scrambled egg and bacon.

"Yeah yeah whatever." Steve sat down too and they started eating. It wasn't as good (or as exciting) as Soda's cooking but it was pretty good.

Pony finished fast, stuffing as much food into his mouth as he possibly could. Then he said goodbye to the guys and left. The supermarket was on the opposite direction from Darry's workplace and the DX, so he took the bus.

Pony always hated the bus ride. It gave him time to think, which never ended well. Soda's letter was running late again. Pony had already written 3 with no response. One more month left, he told himself over and over again. The bus stop was 2 blocks away from the supermarket, which gave him time to have a smoke. As he lit his cigarette, he walked passed a little grocery shop, the one Dally had robbed that night after Johnny died. He tried to never look at it, he'd even started taking a different path to his work for a while but he decided that it was pointless. He looked at the shop worker, wondering if it was the same one who'd called the cops on Dally, then he continued walking.

What a pathetic and selfish way to die…yet so easy, he thought. Dying is easy, living is the hard part, Pony thought, cursing Dally in his head. He did that a lot, get angry at Dally, even Johnny too sometimes. It made him feel better, took away the pain just a little bit. He wondered what Dally would be doing if he were alive today. He'd probably be pretty bored from the lack of action in town lately.

Socs had become friendlier, so to say and barely caused them trouble. They'd started being friends with them even. It was a political thing of coarse. They'd invite them to their big fancy parties and act like they were best buddies. The same people who would have jumped him on the streets a few years back were now being nice to him. Even one of the guys that had actually tried to jump him the day he'd come back from the movie house had apologized to him on one occasion. Pony didn't hold grudges though, it's not like greasers were saints, so he'd let it go.

Some started dressing like greasers even. It was hilarious to Pony that they spent so much money just to look poor. Greasers didn't have to try. They dressed that way because they didn't have money to buy good cloths. In reality, most were scared of them deep down and still thought they were hoods. But it looked good to have variety in your parties, it was a way to "rebel against society' s standards." People did that a lot these days. It was all bullshit, of coarse and Pony knew it. He still went to the parties sometimes though, just to get his mind off of things.

It's not to say that all the socs were bad though. Pony happened to make friends with some good ones actually. He'd become friends with all types of people lately, mostly because they were involved in the protests too. When there's a greater cause, classes cease to exist…at least for the time being. Johnny would have liked that a lot, Pony thought. Maybe he would be have been happy now. Maybe he would have gone to these parties too, along with Pony, had he lived. But Johnny would never see any of this.

Pony was suddenly brought back to reality when he realized that he was about to pass the supermarket. He threw away his cigarette and walked in through the doors, happy to throw himself into his work and forget everything else.


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own The Outsiders**

When Darry dropped him off at the DX, Steve immediately lit a cigarette. He was feeling on edge today, more than usual. Work had become very boring ever since Soda had left. There was a new worker in Soda's place but honestly Steve didn't really bother to talk to him much. He tried not to think about Soda most of the time, although he was always on his mind anyway. It always made him angry. Angry for the fact that Soda was somewhere in that hellhole and angry because he wasn't there by his side. He wondered how Soda was doing now. Soda was tougher but Steve had seen guys who'd gone to 'Nam and let's just say it wasn't pretty. He would here how horrible it was over there and how it had managed to break a lot of tough guys. Some of them were just nervous wrecks afterwards or they'd come back injured or both. Steve didn't care about that much though, as long as he did come back. Whatever baggage he came back with, they could deal with. The number of deaths were increasing in the reports on tv though, which is why he avoided watching them. It was such a load of crap, the war overall. People were finally realizing it. He understood why Pony went to all those protests. It was the only thing the poor kid could do really. A part of him wanted to go too, but he didn't trust those either. They weren't doing any good.

He'd been clean for about two months now and he wanted to keep it that way. Today seemed like a tough one though, he hadn't even gotten a good night's sleep. Funny how before he couldn't get a good night sleep because of his dad was in the house and now he couldn't get a good night sleep cus he wasn't there. Something just felt wrong about staying there. It was empty and quiet. It's not that it wasn't quiet before. Him and his old man didn't exactly socialize and avoided each other as much as possible. It would get very loud though, whenever they would argue, which is mostly when his dad had drank a lot, but not enough to pass out. Those days were the worse, Steve remembered bitterly. He would usually stay over at Soda's on occasions like those. Even now he would stay there sometimes, he hated being in his house. He tried not to do that a lot though. He didn't exactly have a reason to stay now that his dad was gone.

It was weird, the way it happened. He had suddenly started treating Steve better, not arguing, even trying to have conversations with him. He had even brought up his mom a few times, telling Steve how much he looked like her. It was strange, Steve didn't understand it. Then one morning he just found him lying on the couch. This wasn't unusual, he was often asleep on the couch after a night of drinking when Steve woke up. But he wasn't sleeping this time. Steve had froze for a second, trying to comprehend what was going on. Was he supposed to call the cops? Was he supposed to plan a funeral? How does that even work? Well he sorta knew how it worked. He'd helped Darry out with that stuff when the Curtis's had died, but he didn't exactly know where to start. He couldn't do it on his own. He thought about calling a few relatives that he knew but…it's not like they gave a damn about him anyway. They hadn't exactly been close. It didn't feel right asking for their help. So after sitting there for about half an hour, he'd called Darry. He took care of everything, of coarse. The guys too. Even Pony helped out a lot. He had even tried to comfort Steve a few times. Steve guessed he was sort of trying to do Soda's job. It hadn't really worked out too fine but Steve appreciated it. He was a good kid, they'd been getting on better lately.

The worse part about the whole thing was that Steve didn't know how to feel. Was he supposed to mourn? It's not like he had been the father of the year. Steve had hated his guts for most of his life so what was the point of mourning now? Was he sad that he died? Sad wasn't exactly the right word. He was angry mostly. Angry at the fact that he had actually gotten somewhat close to him right before he died. Was that his plan? One final act to fuck up his life further than he already had over the past 18 years? He'd hurt Steve while he was alive and now he managed to do it beyond the grave. It would have been easier if they'd continued being strangers. Or maybe it wouldn't have. Steve didn't know.

As if he wasn't having a bad day already, two socs drove up to get gas, looking at Steve as if they were sitting a few steps higher. After mumbling a few things to each other they made a few remarks and then said, "Hey grease, is this gonna take forever?"

Normally, Steve would work extra slow just to piss them off further, but he wasn't feeling up to it. Although deep down he was wishing someone would push his buttons. He needed a release. But They just drove off after a while. The whole rivalry had settled down a little bit, but you could still find a fight if you looked hard enough.

Steve wished Soda were here. Soda always had the answers. He could say he was dumb all he wanted but Steve knew better. The guys helped out a lot but, it just wasn't the same. They didn't understand why Steve was acting the way he was. Honestly he didn't either. Soda had this way of understanding Steve, sometimes in ways that even he couldn't understand himself. This was one of those situations. Things just didn't make sense anymore these days. He hadn't told any of this to Soda, of coarse. It wasn't exactly the right time to share his own problems to say the least. Whatever he was going through, it definitely couldn't be as bad as Soda's situation right now.

Soda wouldn't really complain in his letters much but Steve knew better. He would mostly ask Steve to watch out for Pony and make sure things were alright with him and Darry. He was worried about that a lot. And Steve did as he asked of coarse. He would anyway, even if Soda hadn't asked. He helped them out financially too, even though Darry would argue about it most of the time. Pony wasn't getting much at the supermarket, so they needed it. Truth is, that was one of the reasons Two-bit got a job. Although he also probably realized he might as well become an adult for a change, help his family also. You know, in an honest way, without stealing.

Steve wished he were there with Soda now. As much as he helped Darry and Pony, Soda needed him far more, even if Soda wouldn't say so himself. One more month, he thought.

After having another smoke, Steve started working on a car. It was the best way to get his mind off of everything. He'd promised the guys and himself that he would stay clean. He wasn't sure it would work this time but he had to at least try. Boy would Soda be pissed if he were here.


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own The Outsiders**

**Darry:**

Darry's favorite part of the day was the time he spent at work. It was also his least favorite part of the day, however. Being at work meant that he could drop the act for an hour or two and not act like he had everything under control. He hated it at the same time, though, because it left him alone with his thoughts.

Having your kid brother go to war isn't easy. Having another kid brother at home relying on you to be the stronger man is even harder. The last couple of months had been the hardest for Darry. Even worse then when his parents had died, as hard as it is to believe. At least then he knew he had both his brothers with him. He had things under control. He had custody and knew that he'd do anything to take care of them, protect them from the world. But now? now he had to see Soda leave without the power to do anything. Darry could remember the way Soda had looked at him that day when he got the draft notice, silently asking for help from his older brother. He could see it in his eyes, past the fake smile. It was the worse feeling in the world, having to see him slowly realize that he was on his own this time. Superman couldn't get him out of it. Not this time. This wasn't a splinter he could make better or a bully he could protect him from. Darry was completely and utterly helpless.

Just the thought of his baby brother out there, in the middle of a war zone drove him completely nuts. How was he even old enough to go to war? To Darry, he was still a kid. A kid who likes riding horses and climbing trees. Falling off of them and laughing it off. Playing football, goofing off with his friends...but war? How was he suddenly a soldier? Who the hell decided that they could do that to him? Especially to Soda. Happy-go-lucky Soda. The only one from them all who didn't turn against the world even after it hit him hard. The only one who kept on smiling no matter how much he lost. Darry had always marveled at Soda's optimism, his everlasting ability to make people smile. It was moments like this when he wanted to go to those damn protests along with Ponyboy. It's why he didn't get mad at Pony too much, he understood. He even envied him in a way. Envied the fact that he had the freedom to do that. Darry had to be the responsible one. He had to keep everyone together, it was his job and it was eating him alive.

He wouldn't sleep for days, especially when Soda had first left. Those days were the worse. If only he could go instead of him, he kept thinking over and over. But he had to be strong. He had to make it through this. Darry knew, though. He knew that if Soda didn't make it back, that would be the last straw. He wouldn't have the strength to take that hit. It would be his breaking point, his kryponite.

Soda had to make it back though. He couldn't not. How could the world possibly function without Sodapop Curtis. It was impossible to Darry.

Darry pushed those thoughts away. Maybe it was time for him to be an optimist. Soda had always gone on about the world not being such a bad place, maybe he was right after all. One more month, he thought to himself and continued working.

**Two-bit:**

Getting a job had quickly proven to be not such a bad thing to Two-bit. Originally he was dreading it, of coarse, but he sorta had to at the time. His mom's work wasn't going so well, not to mention the Curtis's were having loads of trouble what with Soda away. If the social services were to think that Darry wasn't able to provide enough money, they'd take Pony to a boys home and Two-bit wasn't just gonna let that happen. Plus he'd figured it was about time he acted like an adult...well an adult who watches Mickey, but still an adult. Sounded like suck a bad word though, adult. Boring, dead end, old. Either way, Two-bit had been working at a pub that had recently opened in his neighborhood.

You'd think that working at the pub would mean loads of alcohol at hand but nope. He wasn't allowed to drink one drop. Other than that, being a bartender wasn't all that bad. It was actually kinda fun, a lot of people he knew came here and they'd talk and goof around. Sometimes people would start spillin their hearts out though after a few too many drinks, which got awkward sometimes. Two-bit wasn't one for advise. Soda would be perfect for this job though. Like for example, the guy who had just gotten divorced from his wife and was moping around for the past hour and a half would have a smile on his face after talking to Soda for 10 minutes. Two-bit didn't know how the kid did it but he did.

It was hard to imagine Soda was in Vietnam now, sort of unreal. He didn't belong in a place like that. Two-bit knew that the guys were all worried, especially because Soda had been sending letters less and less often lately. Two-bit worried too but the idea of Soda not returning, of Soda dying just didn't make sense to him. it just wasn't possible, not for Soda. So Two-bit tried not to think about it much. One more month and he'd be back, that's the only way and Two-bit refused to think otherwise.


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own The Outsiders.**

Soda had received a few letters while he was at the medic. He wrote back to them when he was able to but didn't mention anything about what happened. They were worried sick as it was, he didn't need to make it worse. It was Friday, and Soda was feeling much better. It would be a perfect time to go for a walk with Angel, except she wasn't working there today. Apparently there was a need for a few nurses at a neighboring facility, so her and a few other nurses were there to help out. Which left Soda in utter boredom. He played cards for an hour or two with a few of the guys, but that soon got boring too. Then, sometime in the afternoon, the doctor came in to check on everyone.

"How are we feeling Mr. Curtis?" The doctor asked, approaching Soda.

"Fine and dandy"

"No more cigarettes I hope?"

"Nope, scout's honor" Soda said grinning.

"Good good, well it looks like another week or so and you'll be good as new" the doctor said happily. Great, Soda thought. Staying in bed was agonizing, but it sure beat being shot at 24/7. Not to mention he wouldn't be able to see Angel. But what if he never got to see her after he left? Was it fair that he asked her to wait for him? Soda suddenly regretted it all. He'd said it all in a moment of weakness, but now that he thought about it, it was a selfish thing to do. She didn't deserve that. Soda wasn't sure he could take another month of war, especially after taking a few weeks of break. It's always worse going back.

"Although I do believe that it would be better if you continued your recovery at home." It took a minute for Soda to process what the doctor was actually saying.

"Sorry?"

"Well, it seems like you will be going home sooner than you thought."

"I don't understand, I have another month left-"

"Yes but…heroism comes in handy sometimes," the doctor said with a huge smile, "they're letting you off early." He seemed to be genuinely happy for Soda.

The first thought that crossed Soda's mind was whether he was dreaming or not. On rare occasions when his dreams weren't complete nightmares, he would have happy dreams, about Angel or about going home and not going back to war ever again. Those dreams would come crushing down as soon as he woke up though. So, for a minute or so, Soda was waiting to wake up.

"Didn't you hear what I said? You're going home son…well unless you want to do another tour, I'm sure they can arrange that," the doctor said jokingly.

"No I...I think I'm good." Soda said with a smile, his shock quickly replaced with happiness.

"Alright, you're leaving in about 20 minutes so get ready."

"20 minutes?" Soda asked shocked.

"Yes, the nurse will help you if you want."

"Thanks doc."

Everything was happening so quick that Soda didn't know how to respond. He was, of course, happy to get the hell out of there, but then he realized that Angel wasn't there, and she wouldn't be until the next day. He couldn't just leave like that, not without seeing her. After a few minutes of thinking he got a piece of paper and wrote a quick note to her along with his phone number. It was the only thing he could think of. He gave the note to Rick, who didn't need to be told who to pass it on to.

"Thanks man, I owe you one" Soda said patting him on the shoulder.

"Anythin for love, man." Rick said with a wink. Soda was about to leave when Rick called, "hey Soda! Don't grease your hair too much, might lose whatever little is left in there." and he broke out laughing like he didn't have a worry in the world.

"You take it easy Rick." Soda said with a laugh.

In about 10 minutes Soda was ready to leave. He said goodbye to the guys. Lastly he went over to Jimmy, who'd lost both legs on one of his tours. Soda had gotten quite close to him during his time at the medic.

"Hey Jimmy, you keep on smilin alright?" It was something Soda had told him when they'd first met. "Smiling makes your life better, it's a scientific fact, man" Soda had said. He didn't know much about science of course, but people seem to believe you more when you used the word so he did. Soda didn't believe it much himself anymore. He used to before, it was a sort of motto he would live by, but now he wasn't too sure. Jim didn't have to know that though. He needed something to believe in, so Soda gave it to him.

"Thanks buddy."

And with that Soda was off. It's sort of unreal, going home after such a long time. Soda kept expecting some sort of obstacle to stop him. Or maybe it was all a joke, and in reality he'd actually be going back there.

Even when he was in the plain he still couldn't believe it. He thought he'd probably believe it when he actually set foot home. Or maybe not. He had been dreaming about this day for months now, expecting to feel the utmost happiness and freedom. He didn't feel that now though. He just felt empty, numb to be more exact. He was going home, he would see Ponyboy and Darry and the gang again. It was strange, Soda had never felt quite this way before. Sure he was happy he would be seeing them again, more happy than he could express, but something just wasn't right. He couldn't understand it himself. He looked at the other guys around him wondering if they felt the same. They all looked so identical at that moment. Soda wondered if he looked like that too. They were all happy to be going home, yet no one felt like celebrating much. What was there to celebrate really? It's not like they'd won. The war was still going on. And they wouldn't win, Soda thought. He was sure of that.

They had served their country, done their duty. So why did it feel so bad then? Why were there people who blamed them back at home? Didn't they know it's not the soldier's fault what he does in a war zone?

But what was the point of sending them there and then bringing them back? Were they supposed to go back to their lives now? Live like it didn't happen?

Soda thought about his life before. Going to drag races, parties, geting into fights to "blow off steam." Could he really go back to that? Be happy-go-lucky again. Did they really expect them to go home just like that? It's like trapping a bird in a cage and then letting it go after a while, except now it's forgotten how to fly. What does it do then? Walk its way through life? Does it ever learn how to fly again or does it continue living a half life?

Was he really free now? How can someone be free when he's trapped in his own mind? As Soda looked around at everyone in the plane, it slowly dawned on him. _It happened, it finally happened. _He'd finally blended into the crowd, let life beat him down along with everyone else. After so many years of refusing to give in, it happened. Soda felt angry then, his heart pounding hard like he would explode at any second. He wanted to get up and scream at everyone for what they'd done. Who was he supposed to blame though? The government? The world itself? What difference would it make? What's done is done. It would be like punching thin air and expecting a response.

He felt so tricked then, like someone had played a sick game on him and he'd given into it. He thought about Angel then, thinking about her always made him feel better. Would she even call though? She probably just felt sorry for you, Soda thought bitterly. But maybe she would call, Soda couldn't help but hope.

He then tried to block away all those thought, he was good at doing that these days, blocking it all away. He started looking out the window and thought about finally getting to see his family again. Maybe everything would be okay after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own The Outsiders.**

Stepping out of the train station was a really big wake up call. Soda was finally starting to grasp the fact that he was going home. It was strange though, seeing people walking around, living their own lives like everything is normal. How could it be normal though?

Soda could have let the guys know that he was coming home and they would have come to meet him at the station, but he had decided to surprise them instead. What he hadn't thought about was how he was going to get home. He considered taking the bus, but that would take too long so, at last, he decided to hitchhike. He had never done that before. First time for everything, Soda thought.

He had always thought that hitchhiking would be exciting and fun, but it proved to be more awkward then he had thought. A lot of people seemed to be weary to take him and he had a strange feeling it was because of the uniform. Finally, after about 20 minutes, a Volkswagen van pulled up. It looked like a typical hippie bus, with peace signs drawn all over. Soda was happy about this. Hippies were pretty nice, most of the time. If anyone would take him, it would be this guy. His relief was replaced by annoyance, however, as soon as the window rolled down to reveal non other than Randy Adderson.

Randy looked very different these days. In fact, he looked like anything but a soc. Soda had seen him a few times over the last year, but he looked even more different now. As much as he had changed though, Soda just couldn't let go of the fact that so much happened because of this guy and his buddies. It was partly Randy's fault that Johnny and Dally were dead…and Soda couldn't exactly forget the small fact that he had tried to drown his kid brother.

"Hey Sodapop, good to see you back man" Randy said through the window. His hair was much longer now, and it looked like he had given up on shaving altogether. "I'm guessing you're headed to Tulsa. I'm goin the same way, come on I'll take ya." Randy seemed to notice Soda's hesitation and said, "look I know we got a lot of history but…things are different now. Come on you're gonna be stuck here all day, I'm goin the same way anyway."

Soda thought about it for a second. Randy did have a point, he might be stuck here for hours, and he wasn't feeling too hot anyway. After some hesitation, he got into the passenger's seat and they drove off.

The inside of the van was even more entertaining than the outside. The last time Soda had seen this much color in one place was in a kindergarten classroom.

Soda was quiet at first, partly wondering if he should have waited for another car. Randy, on the other hand, couldn't stop talking. He sounded as much like a hippie as he looked it. He talked about how things were changing and that there would soon be a 'peace revolution' all over the world. Soda actually agreed with a lot of the things he said. Aside from the funny exterior, these guys had some pretty good ideas.

"and this whole Vietnam thing, man it's crazy" Randy went on.

"Yeah it's pretty crazy." Soda said.

"You doin alright?" Randy said pointing at Soda's arm, that was still bandaged.

"Yeah, it's alright. Just a scratch." sorta…

They'd been driving for about half an hour and Soda realized that he actually enjoyed talking to this guy. He could understand him in a lot of ways. Randy talked about how the whole incident with Johnny and Ponyboy had made him rethink his life and how things had stopped making sense like they had used to. So he had changed his life and finally saw the 'light.'

"The whole soc and greaser thing…it was nuts, just nuts. Pointless. You know, I used to think it was the only way to live but no, peace is the only way to go man."

"Yeah I guess you're right." Soda said.

They talked for another half an hour until they were close to home.

"You want me to drop you off at your place or..?" Randy asked.

It was too early for Darry or Ponyboy to be at home right now, so instead, Soda decided he would go see Steve at the DX.

"Alright great, I gotta get gas anyway." Randy said.

It felt great seeing familiar sights around him. Especially after being surrounded by trees and grass (that was longer than any grass should be) 24/7. The drive to the gas station made him realize how homesick he actually was. Boy would it be nice to see Steve.

He wondered how he looked then. He hoped he didn't look too messed up. His left arm was bandaged up almost fully and there were cuts even up to his fingers that weren't fully healed. The bomb hadn't been right next to him but it had managed to do a lot of damage. He had a few cuts in the left side of his face too because of the blast, but those didn't look too bad. They were almost healed. His uniform covered his chest and shoulder wounds so it wasn't visible, but it was still hard to move around well. What bothered him the most though, were the small cuts on his other arm, (his bandaged arm too except it was covered ) that he got from walking through all that grass that they would push away. Most guys got those. It was like a constant reminder, a brand that they were given for being there. It looked like they would leave scars, and that bothered Soda to no end.

His hair was pretty long now. Not greaser kind of long, but long compared to a buzz cut. He might even be able to grease it now, Soda thought.

"Well, here we are." Randy said, stopping the van near the DX.

"Thanks man" Soda said getting out. "You know Randy, you dig okay," Soda said with a smile. "Peace man," Randy replied, making a peace sign with his fingers.

"Peace." Soda said making one himself. He couldn't help but laugh a little though. It just felt a little silly.

Randy went on to fill gas and Soda walked inside, hoping to find Steve there. He wasn't there though. There was another worker who had gotten the job around the time Soda left. He greeted Soda warmly, although Soda could tell he wasn't too trilled deep down. Soda guessed the kid thought he could lose his job now that he was back.

"Is Steve around?" Soda asked.

"Nah he hasn't showed up these passed few days."

Soda found that to be weird, Steve never missed work.

"any idea why?"

"Nope." the kid answered, but something about his tone made Soda doubt he didn't know.

"Alright thanks, man." Soda said. By the time he got out, Randy was already gone. It wasn't too much of a problem though because everything was in walking distance now. Soda wondered if he should go and wait by the house until Darry or Ponyboy got home. But then he remembered that the pub Two-bit worked at was supposed to be around there somewhere.. Seeing Two-bit actually work would definitely be a first, Soda thought as he headed towards the pub.

**PS: I got the 'grass cuts' idea from a photo that I saw of a Soldier in Vietnam. Thought it would be interesting to add it in here. The photo was taken by Russell Mitchell and is called "Grass Cuts," in case you guys want to check it out. **


	20. Chapter 20

**I do not own The Outsiders.**

The pub was much smaller than Soda had expected it to be. There were about 4 tables around and then there was the bar with a bunch of stools around it. As soon as Soda walked in, he could hear Two-bit's voice. He was in a deep conversation with four of the guys that were sitting at the bar. Most of the people here looked like tough hoods, although there were occasional 'socs' around. Soda didn't hear what Two-bit said but suddenly all four of them started cackling. If there was ever a job that was made for Two-bit, this was it, Soda thought smiling to himself. He lowered the cap that he was wearing on his head and sat down on one of the stools. By that point, Two-bit was pouring a drink for another guy sitting on the opposite side of the bar, and had started a conversation with him, without noticing Soda.

"Hey buddy, what's a veteran gotta do to get some service around here huh?" Soda said trying to sound as serious as he could. Two-bit froze and then turned around abruptly, completely forgetting the guy he was serving. He seemed to be in disbelief for a second, as Soda grinned at him. "Hey Two-bit," Soda said happily.

"Son of a…" Two-bit suddenly came to himself and practically leaped over the bar, hugging Soda. Tackling would be a better word to describe it. Normally Soda wouldn't mind this, they were always rough, but having two gunshot wound in your body wasn't exactly the best condition to wrestle in.

"Alright, quit chokin me." Soda said. Two-bit seemed to notice and finally let go.

"When the hell d'you get back?" he asked.

"About an hour ago, wanted to surprise you guys."

"Well shoot, you surprised me all right."

Two-bit eyed him from head to toe and said, "well you don't look too bad, kid." He did notice Soda's bandaged arm but he didn't ask any questions. They were quiet for a minute and then Soda said,

"man I can't believe you're workin."

"I know, it's freakin embarrassing," Two-bit said jokingly. Then a guy poked his head out from behind a curtain that was near the bar. Soda figured there was a room for employees back there or something. "Hey Two-bit, I ain't payin you to stand around am I?" Soda figured he probably owned the place. Two-bit looked like he was about to argue but Soda convinced him to go back to work. He took a seat at the stool again and Two-bit got them both beers. Soda couldn't remember the last time he'd had a beer. He'd never been much of a drinker anyway, in fact he barely ever touched a drop, but it still felt nice.

"So you gonna tell me what the hell you doin here? Thought you had another month?" Two-bit said, grinning.

Soda told him that they'd sent him home since he'd gotten hurt real bad. He didn't mention anything about the whole Ryan incident, he didn't like talking about it. Two-bit looked a little worried when Soda mentioned about getting shot. Conversations like these had become so regular and normal over the last 9 months that Soda had to remind himself that people getting shot or bombed wasn't a regular occurrence around here.

"You sure you should be walking around like this?" Two-bit asked.

"Yeah, I'm alright." Technically, he was supposed to have another week of bed rest, doctors orders, but the guys didn't have to know that.

"Hey Two-bit is it alright if I smoke in here?" Soda asked. He had managed to get a few weeds from one of the guys at the hospital.

"Yeah sure," Two-bit said. He was obviously surprised to see Soda smoking, but once again he kept his mouth shut. Soda was starting to feel really tired and his chest and shoulder were starting to hurt a lot. Smoking seemed to help a little though.

"Where's Steve at anyway?" Soda asked, "He wasn't at the DX."

"ah you know Steve, he'll be around" Two-bit said, but Soda noticed he sounded a bit angry. Soda didn't push it any further though, he'd go by his house later on if he needed to. They talked for about two hours, with Two-bit occasionally helping some other customers. He got him updated with the current news, and told him a bit about Ponyboy's "adventures" and how he'd been doing everything possible to get the troops back home as soon as possible, protests and all. Soda was surprised to hear it, Ponyboy hadn't mentioned it once in his letters. Soda was touched but he honestly didn't want him to get in any trouble. They'd heard all about those protests back in Vietnam too, but Soda didn't really believe they would do any good. They weren't so far at least.

"You got a hippie for a brother now," Two-bit said, cracking up. Apparently that had become Ponyboy's new nickname…well at least for Two-bit. It felt great to Soda, talking to Two-bit like this, almost like he'd never left. Almost..

By the time Two-bit was finished with work, it was passed 6, which meant that Darry would be home, and maybe Ponyboy too. He usually went to work right after school.

"Nah his work finished pretty late," Two-bit said when Soda asked about Pony. Soda didn't like this. He hoped he could go back to work so Pony could focus just on school again. They were heading home now, in Two-bit's car.

"I'll be around later today okay, I gotta go help my mom out a little." Two-bit said.

"Boy that's awfully responsible of you." Soda said.

"Yeah, see what they've done to me Soda?" Two-bit said, grinning. Soda went through his pocket to get another cigarette, his third one already, but he'd ran out. Two-bit noticed and reached his hand to the back seat and took out a pack of cigarettes from somewhere.

"Here, I'll buy one later." He said, offering Soda the pack.

"Thanks."

He dropped him off in front of the house and said, "Try not to give him a heart attack will ya." They laughed a little and Two-bit drove off. Soda stood in front of the Curtis house, feeling his stomach churn from…what was it? Excitement? Anticipation? Happiness? He wasn't too sure, as he walked up the stairs.


	21. Chapter 21

**I do not own The Outsiders.**

Sodapop considered if he should just walk into the house without knocking but, like Two-bit said, he didn't' exactly wanna give Darry a heart attack. The house looked the same. For some reason Soda had expected it to have changed, but why would it have changed? After all, it had only been less than a year since he had left. He slowly opened the gate and walked up the small steps, stopping at the door. He felt nervous for some reason. He looked down at his cloths again making sure everything looked okay and finally rang the door bell. He couldn't remember if he'd ever actually used that bell…he'd never had to before.

Darry seemed to take forever to open the door. Soda was beginning to think that he might not be home yet but then he heard footsteps from inside and the door opened.

The expression on Darry's face was absolutely priceless. Soda would have laughed out loud if he wasn't so overwhelmed himself. He looked like he was in a state of shock, not trusting what he was seeing.

"Hey Darr" Soda said, grinning. After Darry didn't answer, Soda added, "you gonna let me in or am I gonna have to stay out here all day?" Darry quickly came out of his trance and pulled Soda into a hug without saying a word. It hurt like hell but Soda didn't even care. He could tell Darry was crying because he was shaking. You don't see Darry crying very often, Soda himself had only witnessed it few times.

Truth is, he was starting to bawl himself. It was weird, he was crying before he even knew it was happening. It was like he just let his guard down after months and months of holding it in. There was no need to pretend now, not with Darry, so he cried his eyes out and so did Darry. Then Darry finally let go and pulled him inside.

The house looked the same too. It felt so warm and comfortable that Soda almost felt like it was temporary, like it was just another place he was stopping by and would soon go back to the rain. Yet here he was, at home, surrounded by the same old furniture and the pictures of his parents on the piano.

"Ponyboy not home yet?" Soda asked wiping at his tears.

"No but he will be, soon." Darry paused, still looking at him like he couldn't believe his eyes. "You wanna tell me what the hell you're doin here lil buddy?" he asked with a laugh, wiping away his own tears.

"Oh you know, thought I should drop by and see how you goofs are survivin here without me" Soda said, taking off his cap. They sat down on the couch and Soda reassured Darry that this wasn't just a visit and that he'd been let off early. Darry seemed happy beyond words. As soon as Soda told him about him getting hurt though, his parenting/older brother instincts kicked in and he stated convincing Soda to go lie down. Soda was tired but there was no way he was getting into bed unless it was pitch black. Darry reluctantly let it go, not wanting to push Soda too much, although Soda was sure that he would bring it up again sooner or later.

"You hungry?" Darry asked.

"Starving," Soda said with a smile. "I'm gonna go change first, though."

As he headed for the bedroom, Darry said, "Hey, you need some help?"

"Nah I'll manage."

The bedroom looked the same too, well at least his side did. It looked like Pony had left everything exactly the way Soda had left it. Pony's side was pretty much the same too, except there were different books scattered all over and a bunch of paperwork on his desk. There was also a radio that wasn't there before. Soda stood by the doorway, just looking at the room for a while. Had it really been less than a year?

He walked over to Pony's desk. There were a bunch of papers that looked like schoolwork on it and also a few of the letters that Soda had sent. He also noticed numerous sighs and posters with dates of protests. Two-bit wasn't kidding. Seemed like he was dedicated. Soda wondered what he would have done if Pony was the one who'd gotten drafted. He didn't even wanna consider it. That was one good side to him going, they didn't take two from the same family. He put the papers down, feeling even more anticipation to see Ponyboy. He missed him like crazy and he knew Pony missed him too. He moved to the other side of the bed and opened the drawer where he kept some of his clothes. He took out a pair of jeans, a plain white t-shirt and one of his plaid shirts. Changing his top took a while. His wounds were starting to hurt a lot, especially now, without any painkillers. He even considered calling Darry for a minute but he decided not to. Darry would defiantly make him go to bed after that. After getting that over with, he took off his boots and changed his pants. Dressing like a civilian had never felt better. He'd especially missed wearing jeans. As he put on his plaid shirt, he wondered if he should wear the collars up like he always used to before. He used to do it because it made him look tuff…it felt kinda silly now though. Looking tuff or tough weren't exactly on top of his priorities these days. He put his collars down and lifted the sleeves up to make it more comfortable for his arm.

He could smell all types of foods as soon as he walked out of the bedroom. Darry had practically put the contents of the entire fridge on the table and was looking for something in one of the kitchen cabinets.

"Dar, we're not havin a banquet man," Soda said with a laugh, "I'll be fine with a sandwich or somethin"

"I'd have stopped by the grocery and made somethin good, had I known you was coming." Darry said, setting plates on the table. Soda realized just how hungry he was as soon as he started eating. He was suddenly glad that Darry had put a lot of food on the table. It wasn't anything fancy, just some sausages and eggs and a bunch of veggies. There was also pasta with some type of souse in it. "D'you make this?" Soda asked.

"Yeah…we kinda had to manage without your cookin." Darry said.

"Not bad for a rookie" Soda said with a grin. It actually tasted pretty good.

Darry refused to let him help with cleaning after they were finished. So, Soda just stood idly while Darry cleaned the table.

"So what's with these protest Pony's been goin to?" Soda asked.

Darry stopped short and looked at Soda surprised. "How'd you know bout that?"

"Two-bit told me" Soda said, "I stopped by the pub until you'd come home," Soda added when Darry looked at him questioningly.

"Well, he's been worryin sick, was the only thing he could do to cool off…you know him, he's becoming more stubborn the older he gets," Darry said with a smile. "He stopped goin lately though, probably figured it wasn't doin no good." Darry paused for a second and then said, "or maybe he got tired of Two-bit callin him a hippie all of the time."

Soda laughed and said, "yeah he told me bout that too." He walked into the living room, feeling more and more tired by the minute. He took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. "He said he'd stop by later on by the way," he said.

"When's he not here anyway?" Darry said laughing.

"Yeah, you got that right." Soda said, leaning his head against the couch and closing his eyes.

"You feelin alright?" Darry said, coming into the living room and sitting on the recliner with a worried expression.

"Yeah I'm alright, just tired."

"Soda you should-"

"I'm not goin to bed Dar, it's 7:30." Soda cut him off before he could finish. Darry looked like he wanted to argue but he let it go again. They sat there for a while, just talking. Soda asked a lot of questions, but he avoided talking about himself or Vietnam. Darry didn't mention it either. Soda was glad to know that Darry and Pony had been getting along well. Darry told him how much more responsible Pony had gotten. He didn't mention anything about the arrests. He wasn't lying though, aside from the protests, Pony had been more supportive than ever. After a while, Soda lit a cigarette and started smoking. He was craving it like crazy, especially after having eaten dinner. Darry looked a bit surprised but hid it immediately, like Two-bit had.

They were in the kitchen doing the dishes when they heard Pony walk in. Well, Darry was doing the dishes and Soda was just standing there talking to him.

"Darr, I'm home." Pony called closing the door. "Listen I forgot to buy milk, I'll get it tomorrow mornin alright?" Darry was about to say something but Soda motioned him to stay quiet. Pony went on straight to his room and Soda followed behind.

He turned on the radio and lay down on the bed, lighting a cigarette. The station was reporting news from Vietnam, talking about how many soldiers had been lost this week and what the future plans were and such. Then Pony quickly turned the radio off, looking annoyed, and continued smoking in silence with his eyes closed. Soda stood at the doorway, looking at him. Boy had he gotten taller, and he looked much older too.

"Thought you were gonna quit smoking, Ponyboy" Soda said.

Pony jumped up, looking even more surprised than Darry had. He froze for a second and then quickly got up and hugged Soda. He was sobbing immediately and so was Soda. They stayed like that for what seemed like a long time. Pony wasn't willing to let go and just wouldn't stop crying. "Alright kid, you're gonna choke me to death." Soda said with a laugh, although he wasn't letting go either. Then Pony let go and asked, "what are you doin here?"

"They let me off early...shoot you're about to burn the place down" Soda said, picking up the cigarette that Pony had dropped on the bed.

He couldn't believe he was actually seeing Ponyboy, it was unreal. "Shoot kid, you been on steroids or something?" Soda said rubbing Pony's hair with his fingers.

"You alright?" Pony asked looking worriedly at Soda's arm.

"Yeah, it's just a scratch, don't worry." Soda said.

"Darry seen you yet?" Pony asked, wiping away his tears.

"Yeah, he's seen me."

Ponyboy looked like he was about to cry all over again, as soon as Soda told him that he wasn't going back. In fact, he had to reassure him of it more than once. He kept asking just to make sure though and Soda kept telling him over and over again. It felt nice saying it anyway. Soda had a hard time believing it himself sometimes.

Darry had stayed in the living room, giving them privacy.

"Come on, let's go to the living room," Soda said after they'd talked for a while. "Okay," Pony said. Soda put his arm around him, smiling, and they walked into the living room.


	22. Chapter 22

**I do own The Outsiders**

At around 8:30, Two-bit showed up with a few six-packs to "celebrate.". They talked and joked around like they normally would. Soda found it strange that none of them seemed to mention the fact that Steve wasn't there. "He'll be around" is what they would say every time Soda would bring it up. When even Ponyboy avoided talking about it and just kept bringing up excuses, such as, "maybe he's out with Evie or something, don't worry about it we'll find him" Soda was reassured that something was wrong. Steve wouldn't just disappear like that, without any of the guys knowing where he was. He wouldn't be with Evie either because Soda knew that they'd broken up again recently. They were playing cards with Two-bit when Soda took the chance to bring it up again.

"Two-bit, anythin I should know?" When Two-bit looked at him like he didn't know what Soda was talking about, Soda added, "Steve doin alright? he hasn't been goin to work for the past few days."

Two-bit took a sip from his beer and said, "Look Soda, he's been a lil distant lately, that's all."

Soda had a feeling that he was hiding something. It was obvious that he wouldn't be finding anything out from any of them so Soda decided if they weren't gonna tell him, then he would find out himself. Honestly, he was feeling a bit annoyed form all the secrecy. He put on his sneakers, which felt like walking on cotton after 9 months of wearing boots, and headed for the door.

"Where you goin?" Darry asked.

"I'm just gonna have a smoke, I'll be right back."

Pony looked like he was mentally trying to restrain him from leaving his sight. "Don't worry Pon, I'll be right here" Soda said, playfully punching him on the shoulder. He walked out and shut the door behind him before they would ask if he wants company. He walked out the gate, lighting a cigarette and headed straight for Steve's. Technically, he wasn't lying, he really was having a smoke.

Steve's house wasn't too far from the Curtis's but the walk still tired Soda out. He had forgotten how quiet it could get around here at times. The silence felt more uncomfortable to him and more nerve wracking than any high pitched noise could. He started walking a little faster, trying to focus on the noise of the car that was going by a few streets away.

Soda and Steve had practically grown up together, but Soda had only been at Steve's house on rare occasions. His dad wasn't the friendliest of people, so they mostly hung out at Soda's house. In fact, Steve spent more time at the Curtis's than he did at home, even when they were kids. After his wife's death, Mr. Randle had started drinking even more than he used to, so it wasn't much fun to be around him. Steve's relationship with him had gotten worse and they would fight a lot, especially with Steve not being one to keep his mouth shut. Then one day Soda had woken up in the middle of the night from a knocking on his window. Soda had opened it to find Steve with a few bruises on his face. Apparently his dad had had a few too many drinks and had gotten physical. Soda never liked Steve's dad but he hated him after that. Mr. Randle had spent days apologizing to Steve after that and giving him money. It continued to happened once in a while though, every time he would have too much to drink and Steve would be unlucky enough to be around him. And so, Soda felt a bit awkward going to Steve's house, but he had to make sure he was okay. He knew Steve better than anyone. He wouldn't act like this unless something was wrong. Soda just hoped he hadn't gotten himself into too much trouble. By the time Soda was nearing his house, Steve's car drove in and stopped. Steve got out and started walking towards the door,.

"Man, you really need a new car," Soda said. It was true, the thing was practically falling apart.

"Soda!?" Steve turned around surprised and stood there for a second looking at him. "Hey buddy," Soda said with a grin. Steve pulled him into a hug and Soda was reassured that a few more hugs like this would definitely send him back to the hospital. He winced a little from the sudden pain.

"You alright?" Steve asked letting go. "Yeah, it's fine" Soda said. Steve had tears in his eyes and Soda was sure he did too.

"What the hell are you doin here?" Steve asked.

"Lookin for you," Soda said, "you're hard to find these days, you know." Steve looked a little uncomfortable for a second and then smiled and said, "long shift at the DX. How come you're back early?" Soda looked at him surprised for a second. It worried him even more that Steve was lying, they told each other everything. He didn't want to put him on the spot then, Steve didn't talk unless he wanted to so Soda let it go. He'd find out sooner or later. "Got let off early."

Soda couldn't help but notice how tired Steve looked. He had bags under his eyes and his hair and clothes looked messy and disheveled. Although Soda figured he probably didn't looks too good himself.

"How you doin?" Steve asked as they started walking back to the Curtis's.

"I'm alright." Soda told him how he'd gotten hurt and how he had spent a while at the hospital and how much he'd missed everyone. It felt so comfortable talking to Steve. Sometimes there were just things that Soda could talk to Steve about that he couldn't with anyone else. Soda tried not to go into too much detail because he knew how much him being drafted had affected Steve.

"You doin alright?" Soda asked, "guys said you've been kinda distant."

Steve was quiet for a minute not meeting his gaze. Then he looked at him with smile and said, "Nah, everything's fine...come on, let's go inside.

"Thought you was going for a smoke?" Darry said as soon as they walked in. "I did," Soda said grinning. Soda could tell everyone acted a bit strange when Steve walked in but they greeted him normally anyway. Soda even caught Two-bit look at Steve a bit angrily but Steve did his best to avoid his gaze. The awkwardness drifted away soon, however, and it suddenly felt like a normal hangout, except everyone was happier now that Soda was back. They joked around, played cards, made fun of each other, wrestled...well Soda didn't participate in that part but still. As Soda looked at them all though, that same feeling suddenly came back; the feeling of disconnection and emptiness. Like he wasn't completely there. Like a part of him was still in the battlefield with the guys. He wondered how they were doing now and couldn't help but feel a little guilty for not being there by their side.

"You okay, little buddy?" Darry asked sitting next to him. Soda was smoking again. He had actually lost count of how many he'd already smoked today. Weird, he hadn't realized just how much of a habit it had become.

"Hm? Yeah I'm good," Soda said with a smile. "Man he's really grown up huh?" Soda said looking at Ponyboy. They were playing cards on the dinner table and Pony was in a deep argument with Two-bit about his cheating techniques. It was mostly playful though.

"You know, I haven't seen him this happy in a long time," Darry said. Soda smiled, "yeah." It was true. Pony had grown up a lot but at the same time, he finally looked care-free again.

Soda was starting to feel very groggy, so he took a seat on the sofa and didn't say much for the rest of the night. The guys must have noticed because they left soon after. Soda could literally feel himself drifting to sleep. He thought about going to bed, but he was asleep before he could do so.

"Hey Soda, come on let's go to bed," Pony said, shaking him lightly, but he wouldn't wake up. Pony couldn't help but panic a little. They tried to wake him up a few more time but he would just stir a little and go back to sleep.

"Alright, come on little brother," Darry said lifting Soda off of the couch. He wasn't too heavy although he had built a lot more muscle.

"Careful with his arm," Pony said looking worried.

"I will, Pony clean these up will you?" Darry said motioning to the playing cards scattered all over the place and the beer bottle on the table.

Darry walked into the bedroom and carefully put Soda on the bed. He was starting to worry a little himself at how limp Soda was. He checked his temperature but he didn't seem too warm. Darry recalled when Soda was little. He was more active than any other kid around. He would run around and play so much until he was so out of energy that he would fall asleep on the couch and dad would carry him to his bed. It physically hurt Darry when he thought of how much Soda had been through. When he looked at him, he saw that little kid again. He would always be a kid brother to Darry.

Darry removed Soda's shoes and then carefully took off his plaid shirt. He seemed a little uncomfortable then but didn't completely wake up. Darry could see that his shoulder was bandaged too through Soda's shirt. He made a mental note to get him checked up at the hospital, even if he had to drag him there himself.

"Dar?" Soda whispered opening his eyes.

"Hey little buddy, Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."

" s'okay...I didn't realize I fell asleep," Soda said, looking around and realizing he was in bed, "did you carry me here?"

"Yeah," Darry said, putting the covers over him. Soda gave a small laugh and said, "you know, I'm surprised you don't have back problems by now."

"Yeah, I'm getting there," Darry said with a laugh. "You feelin okay Soda?" Darry asked, checking his temperature again.

"Yeah, I'm great," Soda said with a smile. He was falling asleep again.

"Go to sleep now Pepsi-cola, but we gotta go get those checked out tomorrow alright?" Darry said motioning to his bandages.

"S'alright Dar...just needs some time to heal is all," Soda tried to argue.

"I know...but still, just in case."

"Okay," Soda said reluctantly. "Where's Ponyboy?"

"He's just cleanin up a little, he'll be here soon little buddy, you just go to sleep."

"mhm" Soda said closing his eyes, and drifted back to sleep.

"Pony you wake me up if you need somethin alright?" Darry said before going to his room. He stopped again halfway and added, "you sure you're gonna be alright? Maybe I aughtta stay with him, in case he needs somethin?"

"Darry I'll be right there, I'll wake you up if somethin happens alright? don't worry." Darry nodded and went to his room, still feeling a little worried.

When Pony went to bed, he moved as quietly as possible so that he wouldn't wake Soda. Although he was sure he wouldn't wake up anyway. A part of him wanted to wake Soda up, to talk to him and ask him how he's been and how he's feeling. The bandages on his arm and the cuts on his face angered Ponyboy and made him want to hurt whoever did that to him. But he's back and that's all that matters right now, he kept telling himself. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy and relieved. Yet strangely, he kept wanting to cry, to let out all the hurt he had been swallowing for months now. They had been some of the toughest months of his life, and he had had some pretty tough ones to say the least. He slowly got into bed trying not to move it too much. For some reason, he couldn't sleep comfortably. Every time he would come close to falling asleep he would wake up and check to see if Soda was actually there. He would smile a little every time he was reassured that he wasn't dreaming.

Sometime throughout the night Soda woke up with sharp pain in his chest. Having morphine didn't sound too bad at the moment, as much as he had gotten tired of it before.

"Soda, you alright?" Pony asked having noticed Soda move.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Go back to sleep Pony," Soda said trying to sound normal. Pony didn't seem to buy it.

"You sure?"

"Yeah Ponyboy, I'm sure. Now got back to sleep," Soda said, sounding more annoyed than he had meant to. Ponyboy turned around reluctantly with a helpless look on his face. Soda mentally kicked himself for snapping at him like that. He always hated seeing that expression on his face. He'd never been a cause for it before. He slowly turned around and put his arm around Pony...which hurt like hell but it was worth it.

"Hey kiddo, how you been?" Soda asked gently.

"I've been okay," Pony said, "I'm really happy you're back Soda." He sounded like he was holding back tears.

"Yeah me too," Soda said smiling. "So what's with these protests I keep hearnin about? Hadn't realized you was such a rebel Ponyboy."

"You heard about that huh," Pony said. "I don't know...I had to do somethin you know," he paused for a minute and then said in a serious tone, "it just ain't fair, any of this."

"Yeah, I know" Soda said. "You're not a hippie now though are you?" he added trying to lighten up the mood.

Pony laughed and said, "you been talkin to Two-bit?"

"Yeah he said that today."

"Yeah he's been sayin it for months."

They were quiet for a minute and then Pony said,

"Soda?"

"hm?"

"was it scary over there?"

Soda was quiet for a while, thinking about the question. Sure it was scary, hell it was terrifying, but it wasn't an experience he could just describe in words, not to someone who hadn't been there. He didn't want to anyway.

"Yeah, it was real scary," Soda said simply. "Your letters helped a lot though, you know?" It was true. The letters, especially Pony's had been the only escape Soda had throughout those months.

"Really?"

"Mhm...thanks Ponyboy," Soda said quietly, starting to feel really tired again.

"Soda, you don't gotta thank me for anything," Pony said, turning around to look at him. Soda smiled and said, "you know, at this level, you could be a writer or somethin, the guys over there used to call your letters mini-novels."

Pony laughed and said, "yeah maybe."

As much as Soda wanted to stay away and talk to Pony some more, he could barely keep his eyes open.

"Soda, you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired...we'll talk more tomorrow okay Pon?" Soda said, closing his eyes.

"Okay, you tell me if you need something though."

"Mhm" Soda whispered. He wanted to tell Pony to quit worrying so much but he was asleep before he could get the words out. After a little while Pony felt himself getting sleepy and finally slept more soundly than he had in a very long time.


	23. Chapter 23

**I do not own The Outsiders. **

When Soda opened his eyes the next morning, it took him a minuted to realize where he was. Waking up can be a very unpleasant experience, especially when you wake up on the cold, wet ground and the first thing you're greeted by is rain...if you're lucky that is. Sometimes you could be greeted by a bomb blast instead, which is a hell of an alarm clock, if anything. So, when Soda found himself in a worm bed at home, with the sun shining through the window...well, it's safe to say it was a big improvement. Soda considered going back to sleep until he heard Two-bit's voice from the other room.

"Oh come on, he's always mixin weird shit together, and it always ends up tastin pretty good," Two-bit was saying defensively.

"Yeah, when he does it, dumbass...and there's no way this can taste good," Steve argued.

Soda smiled to himself and got out of bed. His wounds still hurt when he moved but not as much as at night. He was surprised to see that Ponyboy was not in bed, Soda usually got up earlier than him on weekends. Then he realized why when he looked at the clock. It was almost 11. He quickly washed up and got dressed. As he headed for the door, he could still hear them arguing.

"and who do you think thought Soda how to cook in the first place?' Two-bit said.

"Hey Two-bit, you ever considered writing a culinary book? you might make a few bucks" Pony said and he and Steve started laughing hysterically. When Soda walked in, Two-bit was wresting with Pony.

"So, you thought me how to cook huh?" Soda said.

"Why good morning princess," Two-bit said, letting go of Pony. "You seen what time it is young man?"

"Yeah, time for you to get your brain checked, I think you're having delusions again." Soda said opening the fridge to get orange juice. "How you feeling?" Darry asked, handing him a glass.

"Good," Soda said with a smile. Aside from the pain, which he was starting to get used to by now, he really did feel good. He had forgotten how good orange juice can taste...or maybe it was the particular one that they always had at home that he had missed. They had orange juice at the hospital but it wasn't the same.

"Wait...is that what I think I smell?" Soda said putting down the glass. It was something he had missed more than any other type of food. They all suddenly looked at him with wide smiles. Steve, who had been standing in front of the kitchen table, moved aside to reveal the most delicious looking cake that Soda had ever seen.

"Sweet baby Jesus, get me a fork," Soda said pulling himself a seat.

"D'you guys put pepper in this?" Soda asked surprised after taking a bite.

"Yup," Two-bit said, gleaming with pride. The rest of the guys rolled their eyes at that.

"It's actually pretty good," Soda said, surprised at himself. Even he wouldn't have thought of this. Two-bit turned towards Steve with a smile and extended his hand, waiting for something. Steve sighed, and pulled a $5 bill from his pocket and put it in Two-bit's hand.

They all got plates soon and started eating. The TV was on but no one seemed to actually be watching it. After they finished, they started playing cards. It was a usual hangout, yet it felt different somehow. At least it did to Soda. Everyone was acting the same, but Soda could feel a change. No one mentioned anything about Vietnam, or asked any questions, but he could feel them treating him differently, more carefully, like he was made of glass or something. What Soda wanted more than anything, though, was for everything to go back to normal, as though none of it ever happened. Yet at the same time, a part of him wanted to shout at all of them about the change that was there, that was so very present. It was as though, the world was ignoring the fact that he'd been stuck in a jungle for the past 9 months. Ignoring the fact that there were still people who were there. Soda didn't know which was worse, acting as though it didn't happen, or having to face the truth everyday. It wad frustrating either way, and there didn't seem to be a way around it. So, Soda tried not to think at all. He knew that the guys were trying their best, and he appreciated it.

It was Saturday, so no one had anything else to do. Besides, it felt good to just hang out again. Two-bit was busy doing an impression of Ponyboy as a "hippie protester" as he called it, while Ponyboy was throwing cards at him.

"Hey Two-bit, you do realized hippies don't actually do protests right? They got the whole peace thing going on, you know?" Soda said, putting his cards down and walking over to the kitchen table. "I mean, if it's a peaceful thing they'd do it, but they'd never get violent, it goes against their principles." Soda continued, piling up the plates to take to the kitchen. Darry was instantly there to take them from his hands. Soda had a feeling this baby treatment was going to last for an annoyingly long time.

"and how do you know so much about hippies, huh Sodapop?" Two-bit asked.

"I got a ride from one yesterday," Soda said, leaning on the table.

"No kidding," Steve said surprised.

"Yup, you won't guess who though."

"John Lennon?" Two-bit asked with a laugh. "Or maybe one of Ponyboy's buddies," Two-bit added, but Pony wasn't willing to be bothered and just smiled it off.

"Would you cut it out?" Steve said, annoyed. "Who'd you get a ride from?"

"Randy Adderson," Everyone immediately rolled their eyes, except Ponyboy. "No, he's a pretty cool guy, you know once you get to talk to him a bit" Soda said.

Pony seemed to agree and said, "told you."

"Although, it'd be nice if he'd shave once in a while," Soda added, taking a little piece of cake from the side.

"Soda, soon as you finish that, we gotta get going," Darry said walking out of the kitchen.

"Goin where?"

"The hospital."

"Darry come on-" Soda was about to argue but Darry cut in, "Look we're goin even if I gotta drag you there alright?"

And sure enough, an hour later they were sitting in the hospital, waiting to be called in. Ponyboy insisted on joining Darry and Soda, even though Darry had argued that he stay home and finish his homework. Soda simultaneously loved and hated being in the hospital. He hated it for the simple reason of it being a hospital. Who likes hospitals? Especially after spending days in one with two holes in your body, surrounded by people who were as miserable as you. The reason he loved it was because it reminded him of Angel. He missed her like crazy, and couldn't stop thinking about her for a minute. She had become one of those thoughts that are always present in your mind, no matter what. It was strange to Soda that he'd only known her for a little more than a week. He didn't even know her name, for god's sake. He wondered if she got his message. Was she upset that he'd left without seeing her? Did she even care? Soda wasn't too sure anymore. Maybe their time together didn't mean as much to her as it meant to him. Maybe he was just a soldier that she had pitied in a time of crisis. But what if she really did care...maybe she would call, Soda thought smiling to himself. At that moment, a nurse walked in a called him in. She examined his wounds and changed the bandages. After a little while, a doctor came in to ask a few questions. Darry insisted that he be present for this and Ponyboy followed.

As soon as Soda informed the doctor about where he got his wounds, he seemed to treat Soda with a great amount of respect, which was a first for Soda.

"How long were you in the hospital?" the doctor asked addressing Soda.

"umm...about a week n a half, probably," Soda answered. Pony looked at him surprised and Soda winked at him with a smile. The doctor wrote a few things down on the chart he was holding and continued the questionnaire, asking questions like how often does it hurt or if he ever feels nauseous or lightheaded. Basically, by the end, both Pony and Darry looked horrified. Especially Pony, since he had no idea that Soda had been so badly hurt.

"Very well, everything is looking quite stable," the doctor said looking up. "No strenuous activity allowed, and I would insist you have a lot of bed rest for another week or so."

"He will," Darry said before Soda could say anything. Soda could tell from Darry's expression that this week was going to be extremely fun. The doctor subscribed painkillers that he had to take twice a day, which Soda didn't mind because the pain was becoming increasingly worse. Then they were finally free to go.

Before they walked out the door, however, the doctor stopped Soda and said, "thank you for serving our country, son."

Soda was speechless. No one had ever said that to him before and he didn't know how to feel about it either. He just smiled at the doctor, nodded, and they left.

When they got home, Steve and Two-bit were still there and had, to their surprise, cleaned up the entire house. They'd even done the dishes.

"How'd everything go?" Steve asked.

"Fine," Soda said. As soon as Darry went into details though, they both suddenly got the same expression that Darry and Pony had.

"Shoot kid, thought you said it was just a scratch," Two-bit said.

It took 5 minutes for Darry to insist that he go to bed. "Look it ain't that bad alright, I already spent a week in bed, that's long enough," Soda tried to argue but Darry wouldn't let it go. He didn't argue for much longer though, because in honesty, the entire process of going to the hospital had tired him out. As soon as he put his head down on the bed, he was asleep.

They were on a mission again. They had been walking for hours with no results. It had just stopped raining so the ground was really muddy, which made it even harder to keep moving. Soda was so tired that he felt he would knock out if he stopped to rest. Walking had sort of become a robotic movement. He wasn't even aware he was doing it at this point, he just knew he had to. They were walking in silence when Jason started telling a joke that he'd heard a while back. Jason was a real funny guy, he reminded Soda of Two-bit. His timing wasn't always perfect though, but Soda was glad that there was someone to break the depressing mood that was constantly present, at least for a minute or too. The rest of the guys kept quiet but Soda looked at him a gave a small chuckle. "Hey funny guy, go get some water will ya?" Lieutenant Smith said. Soda watched Jason go near the stream of water. He bent down to fill the bucket that Smith had handed him and then there was a loud blast and Soda couldn't see him anymore. He froze for a minute wondering where he could have just disappeared like that and then it dawned on him.

"Take cover!" Smith yelled and so they did. It was complete chaos after that. They were shot at and shot back...or at least tried too. It's hard to shoot back when you can't see the enemy. Amides all the shooting, Soda kept looking at at the spot that Jason had been standing and wondered again how it was possible for someone to just stop living in a matter of seconds, like his parents or Dally. He heard more gunfire and screaming and then he jolted awake in his bed covered in sweat. His heart was beating fast in his chest like it would jump out any second and he was shaking all over. He tried to even his breathing as he looked around, reassuring himself that he was at home. He stayed like that for a few minutes and then pulled away the blanket that someone must have put over him. He got a cigarette and started smoking. There were only a few left and he made a mental note to himself to buy another pack...or two. The smoking calmed him down and the adrenaline finally wore off. He went into the living room and found Steve watching TV on a low volume, alone. "Hey, how you feelin?"

"fine, where is everyone?" Soda asked, looking around.

Apparently, Darry had gone out to buy the drugs that the doctor had prescribed, Two-bit had been called in for work, and Pony had gone grocery shopping.

"Left you to babysit huh?" Soda said with a smile.

"Hey I'm just hangin out,"

"Alright good, let's go," Soda said, heading for the door.

"Go where?" Steve asked, surprised.

"Out...for a walk or somethin."

"Soda we really shouldn't, you know what the doctor said, you're not supposed to be-"

"Steve come on, I'm dyin in here. I gotta get out," Soda said. Steve looked unsure. "Come on, don't you miss hangin out, just me n you?" Soda asked, punching him on the arm. Soda grinned at him until Steve finally smiled and said, "fine."

"If Darry tries to kill me, it's on you," he muttered as they left the house.


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own The Outsiders.**

"So what's up with you n Evie?"

After walking around a little bit, they'd finally decided to go to Two-bit's pub.

"We broke up," Steve said, "for good."

"Yeah, you've said that before," Soda said. He had lost count of the number of times that Steve and Evie had broken up and gotten back together again. Steve was quiet and thoughtful and then said, "nah...it's different this time."

When they entered the pub, Two-bit had already finished his shift. He looked surprised when he saw them. "Darry's gonna be pissed," he said, looking at Steve.

"Yeah, you try keeping him inside."

They started walking back home. It felt just like the old times to Soda, the three of them together. They were joking around and talking but then somehow the war came up and Two-bit said, "man, I make fun of Pony 'n all but can't blame the kid. This war don't look like it's goin anywhere good."

"yeah..." Soda said, taking a drag from the cigarette he was smoking. The image of Jason flashed before his eyes again and then the bombs and the gunshots and the rain and blood- then he pushed the thoughts away quickly before they would get too far and said, "So how you guys been?"

Soda could feel the same awkwardness come back again all of a sudden. They were quiet for a while and then Two-bit said, "we've been bored is what, ain't no action left in this damn town."

They were passing Steve's house, which was on the way, when they noticed Darry and Pony walking towards them. They must have gotten tired of waiting and come to look for them.

"Oh boy, let's hope they didn't report a missing person," Two-bit said with a laugh.

"Thought you was supposed to be watchin him?" Darry said to Steve.

"I'm right here you know?" Soda said, raising his hand like a schoolkid.

"Soda, you're supposed to be in bed," Darry said a little less angrily.

"I was," Soda grinned. Darry tried his best to stay serious but couldn't help but smile back. Soda could get away with practically anything, even with Darry, and Darry was very much aware of that. "At least leave a note next time," Darry added calmly.

"Sorry...look I'm feeling fine, really." He was starting to feel guilty for taking off like that, but he had to get out, the walls were choking him.

They decided to just hang out at Steve's instead of walking back home. Soda couldn't remembered ever doing this, he could barely remember what the inside of Steve's house even looked like. He figured his dad must be away. Soda felt too awkward to ask about it so they just went inside. The house wasn't big and not too neat either.

Soda and Steve were playing cards while the rest of the guys were in the kitchen "preparing dinner." Steve got up to turn on the TV and accidentally dropped all the cards on the ground. They both got down to collect them, which is when Soda noticed familiar looking bruises all over Steve's arms, much like he had seen on his own arms many times. Steve had been wearing long sleeves for the past few days, even though it wasn't cold. Soda was surprised he hadn't found that strange before, Steve barely ever wore long sleeves, even during winter. He had pulled them back now, probably unconsciously. Soda took his arm for a better look and suddenly everything made sense, the awkwardness between the guys, the secrecy, Steve's strange behavior, the bags under his eyes. It all finally fell into place and Soda felt anger building inside him, like he hadn't felt ever since he'd gotten back. Soda stood up and so did Steve. He had a knowing look on his face.

"You gotta be kiddin' me," Soda said almost laughing to himself.

"Soda...I-" Steve was saying, and then Soda did something that he had done a hundred times before, but never to Steve. It happened reflexively really, his fist met Steve's face before he knew what he was doing and Steve fell back. The guys happened to walk in at the right moment but were silent. It was obvious that they knew what had happened. Soda stormed out, slamming the door behind him. He felt so angry he could feel his heart pounding in his head. He wished he had a punching bag or something to break. Or maybe he could punch Steve again, that sounded like an appealing thought at the moment. He was walking fast but he could hear Steve walking behind him trying to catch up.

"Would you just wait for a second?" Soda stopped, not looking at him. They were near an ally now and Soda couldn't even remember how he'd gotten there. He felt so betrayed by Steve for some reason, he couldn't completely understand it himself. Maybe it was because his family and friends were the only stable and happy thing left in his life. It was the only thought that had kept him going for the past 9 months, with the rest of his world falling apart around him.

"You know...I'm trying to understand I really am, but I just...I don't get it, I don't," Soda said trying to keep his voice calm.

"Look I stopped okay?" Steve said quietly.

"Really? cus those look pretty damn new to me. You wanna know how I know that? cus I had 'em too, you see they had to inject a whole bunch of crap into my veins just to stop the pain. Yeah it wasn't just a scratch I almost died back there, people die there on a daily basis Steve and you're here shootin up, wastin your fuckin life away!" he was shouting by this point and could feel himself shaking form anger. Steve looked guilty and uncomfortable, and was doing his best to avoid Soda's gaze.

"I'll stop Soda, I promise," he finally said in a whisper.

"Are you hooked?" Soda asked with a quiet voice now. "Are you?" he asked again when Steve didn't answer.

"No...no okay?..I'll stop, I can stop," Steve said, almost like he was trying to convince himself that what he was saying was true. He looked so helpless and lost at that moment that Soda's anger completely vanished in a second and he suddenly felt guilty for treating him so badly. Soda took a deep breath and leaned on the wall behind him.

"God Stevie, what were you thinkin?"

"I don't know man...you know how I do things without thinkin sometimes," he said with a sad laugh. Soda couldn't help but smile too. They were quiet for a long time, just standing there, lost in thought.

"I'm sorry I hit you," Soda said quietly.

"Nah...I sorta needed it."

"That's true," Soda said, with a smile. Steve was quiet and looked sad again.

"Come on, let's go back before they send a search party," Soda said, punching him on the shoulder. Steve didn't move for a minuted and then they started walking back towards the house.


End file.
